teleporter-3
Original: teleporter-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man in a red uniform stands on a transporter pad with circular markings on the floor.
Man in red uniform: "Wait, when you activate the teleporter... do I technically die?"
Panel 2: A bald officer in a yellow/tan uniform answers, looking calm.
Officer in yellow uniform: "Oh yes, definitely."
Panel 3: The officer in yellow continues explaining while a third crew member listens.
Officer in yellow uniform: "The whole 'teleporter' thing is for show. We've already printed a duplicate at your destination, complete with memory of this conversation. Now we'll tell you you're teleporting, flash a bright light on your eyes, then use a strong electromagnetic field to painlessly convert you to plasma."
Panel 4: Close-up of the man's worried, uneasy face.
Man: "Are you joking? I can't tell if you're joking."
Panel 5: The transporter pad, now empty except for a swirling beam of light/energy where the man was standing. A small device or button glows yellow in the foreground.
Sound effect from the button: "boop!"
Votey:
A smiling man (drawn in a simpler black-and-white style) looks content, with a thought/speech bubble above him.
Man: "I love my job."
Man in red uniform: "Wait, when you activate the teleporter... do I technically die?"
Panel 2: A bald officer in a yellow/tan uniform answers, looking calm.
Officer in yellow uniform: "Oh yes, definitely."
Panel 3: The officer in yellow continues explaining while a third crew member listens.
Officer in yellow uniform: "The whole 'teleporter' thing is for show. We've already printed a duplicate at your destination, complete with memory of this conversation. Now we'll tell you you're teleporting, flash a bright light on your eyes, then use a strong electromagnetic field to painlessly convert you to plasma."
Panel 4: Close-up of the man's worried, uneasy face.
Man: "Are you joking? I can't tell if you're joking."
Panel 5: The transporter pad, now empty except for a swirling beam of light/energy where the man was standing. A small device or button glows yellow in the foreground.
Sound effect from the button: "boop!"
Votey:
A smiling man (drawn in a simpler black-and-white style) looks content, with a thought/speech bubble above him.
Man: "I love my job."
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic parodying a Star Trek-style transporter. Panel 1: a man in a red uniform stands on a circular transporter pad and asks, "Wait, when you activate the teleporter... do I technically die?" Panel 2: a calm bald officer in a yellow uniform replies, "Oh yes, definitely." Panel 3: the officer cheerfully explains that the teleporter is for show: they've already printed a duplicate with this conversation's memory at the destination, and they'll flash a bright light in his eyes and use an electromagnetic field to painlessly convert him to plasma. Panel 4: a close-up of the man's worried face: "Are you joking? I can't tell if you're joking." Panel 5: the pad is now empty with a swirling beam of light where the man stood; a glowing yellow button sounds "boop!" Votey: a smiling man in a simpler sketch style thinks contentedly, "I love my job."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.