freaky
Original: freaky on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A red-haired woman (a student) speaks to a bearded professor.
Woman: Professor, I'd do... ANYTHING to get a good grade.
Panel 2:
Professor: You mean like sex things?
Woman: Pretty much, yeah.
Panel 3:
Professor: Young lady, this is bad economics. This is an era of sexual openness. Sex is widely available in endless forms most freaky.
Panel 4:
Professor: The sex-for-grades routine worked back when it was harder to come by. If you want to bribe me, you need a rarer commodity.
Panel 5:
The woman considers, the professor waits.
Panel 6:
Woman: If you give me an A, I'll give you three free hours of childcare on alternating weekdays.
Panel 7:
The professor, wide-eyed and sweating, cracks.
Professor: The flesh is weak! I am but a man!
Votey:
A caption in a speech bubble above the sweating, wide-eyed bearded professor.
Professor: I would also accept straight-up bribery.
A red-haired woman (a student) speaks to a bearded professor.
Woman: Professor, I'd do... ANYTHING to get a good grade.
Panel 2:
Professor: You mean like sex things?
Woman: Pretty much, yeah.
Panel 3:
Professor: Young lady, this is bad economics. This is an era of sexual openness. Sex is widely available in endless forms most freaky.
Panel 4:
Professor: The sex-for-grades routine worked back when it was harder to come by. If you want to bribe me, you need a rarer commodity.
Panel 5:
The woman considers, the professor waits.
Panel 6:
Woman: If you give me an A, I'll give you three free hours of childcare on alternating weekdays.
Panel 7:
The professor, wide-eyed and sweating, cracks.
Professor: The flesh is weak! I am but a man!
Votey:
A caption in a speech bubble above the sweating, wide-eyed bearded professor.
Professor: I would also accept straight-up bribery.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired woman student tells a bearded professor she'd do 'ANYTHING' for a good grade. He asks 'You mean like sex things?' and she says 'Pretty much, yeah.' He rebuffs her with economics: in this era of sexual openness, sex is too widely available to be a worthwhile bribe, and he says if she wants to bribe him she needs a rarer commodity. She reconsiders, then offers: 'If you give me an A, I'll give you three free hours of childcare on alternating weekdays.' The professor cracks, wide-eyed and sweating: 'The flesh is weak! I am but a man!' The joke: to an overworked parent, free childcare is the truly scarce, irresistible commodity. Votey: the same sweating professor adds, 'I would also accept straight-up bribery.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.