znurg-2
Original: znurg-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Green alien: Is consciousness special?
Man: What? God, no.
Panel 2:
Green alien: Consciousness is common in the universe. It's just the ability of a brain to assess its own functions.
Panel 3:
Green alien: Look, here's a cup we made that endows anything its contents touch with "consciousness." Cups, modern furniture...
Panel 4:
Green alien: That's rare. It's superpositional thought - the ability to derive answers from the quantum nature of reality by combining computation across the many branches of the multiverse.
Panel 5:
Man: I'd call that znurg.
Green alien: Can learning znurg?
Panel 6:
Green alien: Uuuuuuuugh! Zegul thats cute. Hey, did you dust znurg up with that znurg phasentful question???
Panel 7:
Man: Could... could you make a cup that lets us be znurg?
Green alien: Yaaa!
Panel 8:
Man (red shirt): I wonder if this dirt wouldn't be cool to eat you.
Panel 9:
Green alien: Thaaaaaaaaaat's why i'm in this tub of marinade.
Man (red shirt): Great znurging there, genius!
Votey:
Text in a hand-drawn box: Enjoy this winter's new SMBC collection of jokes about why eating humans is just fine!
Green alien: Is consciousness special?
Man: What? God, no.
Panel 2:
Green alien: Consciousness is common in the universe. It's just the ability of a brain to assess its own functions.
Panel 3:
Green alien: Look, here's a cup we made that endows anything its contents touch with "consciousness." Cups, modern furniture...
Panel 4:
Green alien: That's rare. It's superpositional thought - the ability to derive answers from the quantum nature of reality by combining computation across the many branches of the multiverse.
Panel 5:
Man: I'd call that znurg.
Green alien: Can learning znurg?
Panel 6:
Green alien: Uuuuuuuugh! Zegul thats cute. Hey, did you dust znurg up with that znurg phasentful question???
Panel 7:
Man: Could... could you make a cup that lets us be znurg?
Green alien: Yaaa!
Panel 8:
Man (red shirt): I wonder if this dirt wouldn't be cool to eat you.
Panel 9:
Green alien: Thaaaaaaaaaat's why i'm in this tub of marinade.
Man (red shirt): Great znurging there, genius!
Votey:
Text in a hand-drawn box: Enjoy this winter's new SMBC collection of jokes about why eating humans is just fine!
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic. A small green alien and a man have a conversation about consciousness. The alien explains that consciousness is common in the universe - just a brain assessing its own functions - and shows off a cup that bestows "consciousness" on whatever its contents touch (furniture, etc.). The alien then describes a rarer trait: "superpositional thought," deriving answers from the quantum multiverse. The man dubs this "znurg," and the alien's speech increasingly degrades into nonsense filled with the word "znurg," mocking the man condescendingly. The man asks if the alien could make a cup that lets humans be "znurg"; the alien gleefully agrees. In the final panels the man (now in a red shirt) sits in liquid; the alien reveals he is in a tub of marinade, having been tricked - the alien plans to eat him. The man says "Great znurging there, genius!" The joke: the human's desire for higher consciousness gets him marinated as food. Votey panel: a hand-drawn box reading "Enjoy this winter's new SMBC collection of jokes about why eating humans is just fine!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.