trolley-2
Original: trolley-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A boxy robot teacher addresses a class.
Robot teacher: "OKAY CLASS, HERE'S AN ETHICAL DILEMMA."
Panel 2: A robot with flame-like hair drives a trolley toward a crowd.
Robot teacher (narration): "YOU'RE DRIVING YOUR TROLLEY THROUGH A CROWD OF HUMANS."
Panel 3: The robot teacher again.
Robot teacher: "AS YOU'RE DRIVING, YOU DECIDE THERE'S A CHANCE ONE OF THE HUMANS IS A REPLICANT, AND WALKS AMONG HUMANS TO UNDERMINE THEIR SOCIAL INSTITUTIONS."
Panel 4: The flame-haired robot at the trolley controls.
Robot teacher (narration): "DO YOU CONTINUE YOUR PROSOCIAL MANSLAUGHTER? OR DO YOU STOP, JUST IN CASE YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING THAT ITSELF WOULD BE EVIL."
Panel 5: A small robot student answers.
Robot student: "TRICK QUESTION — THERE ARE NO HUMANS."
Panel 6: The robot teacher responds.
Robot teacher: "VERY GOOD!"
Votey: A robot drawn with an egg-shaped head and a single tear stands looking proud.
Robot: "SUCH A BEAUTIFUL ACHIEVEMENT."
Robot teacher: "OKAY CLASS, HERE'S AN ETHICAL DILEMMA."
Panel 2: A robot with flame-like hair drives a trolley toward a crowd.
Robot teacher (narration): "YOU'RE DRIVING YOUR TROLLEY THROUGH A CROWD OF HUMANS."
Panel 3: The robot teacher again.
Robot teacher: "AS YOU'RE DRIVING, YOU DECIDE THERE'S A CHANCE ONE OF THE HUMANS IS A REPLICANT, AND WALKS AMONG HUMANS TO UNDERMINE THEIR SOCIAL INSTITUTIONS."
Panel 4: The flame-haired robot at the trolley controls.
Robot teacher (narration): "DO YOU CONTINUE YOUR PROSOCIAL MANSLAUGHTER? OR DO YOU STOP, JUST IN CASE YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING THAT ITSELF WOULD BE EVIL."
Panel 5: A small robot student answers.
Robot student: "TRICK QUESTION — THERE ARE NO HUMANS."
Panel 6: The robot teacher responds.
Robot teacher: "VERY GOOD!"
Votey: A robot drawn with an egg-shaped head and a single tear stands looking proud.
Robot: "SUCH A BEAUTIFUL ACHIEVEMENT."
Alt text
A six-panel comic set in a classroom of robots. A boxy robot teacher says, "Okay class, here's an ethical dilemma." It narrates a trolley problem: a flame-haired robot is shown driving a trolley through a crowd of humans. The teacher adds a twist — there's a chance one of the humans is a replicant secretly walking among humans to undermine their social institutions. The teacher asks whether you continue your "prosocial manslaughter," or stop in case the act itself would be evil. A small robot student replies, "Trick question — there are no humans." The teacher beams, "Very good!" The joke: in this future, humans are already extinct, so the agonizing ethical dilemma is moot. Votey aftercomic: a robot with an egg-shaped head sheds a proud tear and says, "Such a beautiful achievement" — celebrating the extinction of humanity as a triumph.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.