app-2
Original: app-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man in a suit stands in an office setting, speaking.
Man: "I DON'T NEED AN APP THAT TELLS ME HOW TO BE FIT."
Panel 2: Close-up of the man speaking.
Man: "I DON'T NEED AN APP THAT BATCHES A SELF-DRIVING CAR OF FOOD, ME THE RIGHT RESTAURANT, OR HELPS ME ACHIEVE MY DAILY GOALS."
Panel 3: The man holds up a smartphone.
Man: "ALL I REALLY WANT IS THIS:"
Phone screen (titled "HUG REGISTER"): "The person you are about to meet 'IS' a hug person. Proceed Without Awkwardness."
Panel 4: Two people embrace in a warm hug, one with red/flame-like hair.
Votey: A tall skyscraper-like structure (drawn as two people in a very long, towering hug) rises into the clouds, with a small sun in the corner.
Text (the app/device alarm): "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! ACCEPTABLE LENGTH EXCEEDED! DISENGAGE!"
Man: "I DON'T NEED AN APP THAT TELLS ME HOW TO BE FIT."
Panel 2: Close-up of the man speaking.
Man: "I DON'T NEED AN APP THAT BATCHES A SELF-DRIVING CAR OF FOOD, ME THE RIGHT RESTAURANT, OR HELPS ME ACHIEVE MY DAILY GOALS."
Panel 3: The man holds up a smartphone.
Man: "ALL I REALLY WANT IS THIS:"
Phone screen (titled "HUG REGISTER"): "The person you are about to meet 'IS' a hug person. Proceed Without Awkwardness."
Panel 4: Two people embrace in a warm hug, one with red/flame-like hair.
Votey: A tall skyscraper-like structure (drawn as two people in a very long, towering hug) rises into the clouds, with a small sun in the corner.
Text (the app/device alarm): "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! ACCEPTABLE LENGTH EXCEEDED! DISENGAGE!"
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. In the first three panels, a man in a suit talks: he says he doesn't need an app to tell him how to be fit, or one that delivers food in a self-driving car, picks restaurants, or helps him achieve his daily goals. He holds up his phone and says all he really wants is this. The phone screen shows an app called "HUG REGISTER" reading: "The person you are about to meet 'IS' a hug person. Proceed Without Awkwardness." The final panel shows two people sharing a warm hug. Votey (bonus panel): the hug has grown into an enormously tall, skyscraper-sized embrace stretching up into the clouds, while a device blares: "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! ACCEPTABLE LENGTH EXCEEDED! DISENGAGE!" - the app that authorized the hug now alarming because it has gone on far too long.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.