vegan
Original: vegan on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (balding, dark suit): I don't eat any creature that feels pain.
Woman: So you're just a negative vegan?
Man: Um?
Panel 2:
Man: I'm a positive vegan. I don't just oppose hurting animals, I'm in FAVOR of pleasuring them.
Panel 3:
Woman: Is this a creepy thing? I feel like this is bending toward creepy.
Panel 4:
Man: I break into pig farms and I platonically snuggle.
Woman: Better and yet somehow so much worse.
Votey:
Text (handwritten, no image): Anyone emailing me to take this as a serious critique of any dietary choice will be made to sit in town square wearing a hat that reads "Needs to chill out."
Man (balding, dark suit): I don't eat any creature that feels pain.
Woman: So you're just a negative vegan?
Man: Um?
Panel 2:
Man: I'm a positive vegan. I don't just oppose hurting animals, I'm in FAVOR of pleasuring them.
Panel 3:
Woman: Is this a creepy thing? I feel like this is bending toward creepy.
Panel 4:
Man: I break into pig farms and I platonically snuggle.
Woman: Better and yet somehow so much worse.
Votey:
Text (handwritten, no image): Anyone emailing me to take this as a serious critique of any dietary choice will be made to sit in town square wearing a hat that reads "Needs to chill out."
Alt text
A four-panel comic. A balding man in a dark suit talks with a woman wearing glasses. Panel 1: He says "I don't eat any creature that feels pain." She replies "So you're just a negative vegan?" He says "Um?" Panel 2: Close-up of the man: "I'm a positive vegan. I don't just oppose hurting animals, I'm in FAVOR of pleasuring them." Panel 3: The woman, looking concerned: "Is this a creepy thing? I feel like this is bending toward creepy." Panel 4: The man, from behind: "I break into pig farms and I platonically snuggle." She replies "Better and yet somehow so much worse." Votey (aftercomic): A text-only panel reading "Anyone emailing me to take this as a serious critique of any dietary choice will be made to sit in town square wearing a hat that reads 'Needs to chill out.'"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.