prayer
Original: prayer on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (praying, hands clasped): Dear God... why do people have to die..?
God (yellow bubble): You ungrateful bastard!
Panel 2:
God: Remember when you were eight years old and you prayed that you would be a successful author one day?
Man: Yes.?
Panel 3:
God: And now, what are you?
Man: An author.
Panel 4:
God: Do you have any idea how many people I had to off to make your writing appear to be above average?
Panel 5:
God: Men! Women! Children! Old folks who still had so much to live for! Young people just starting out! Particularly smart chimps!
Panel 6:
God: I had to go back in time and murder a thousand popular authors in the cradle just so you could appear to be original!
Panel 7:
Man: That seems unnecessarily complicated.
God: Sometimes people write complicated plots! Wow! There's an idea!
Votey:
A speech bubble (tail coming from above, off-panel) reading: Kiss all three of my asses!
Man (praying, hands clasped): Dear God... why do people have to die..?
God (yellow bubble): You ungrateful bastard!
Panel 2:
God: Remember when you were eight years old and you prayed that you would be a successful author one day?
Man: Yes.?
Panel 3:
God: And now, what are you?
Man: An author.
Panel 4:
God: Do you have any idea how many people I had to off to make your writing appear to be above average?
Panel 5:
God: Men! Women! Children! Old folks who still had so much to live for! Young people just starting out! Particularly smart chimps!
Panel 6:
God: I had to go back in time and murder a thousand popular authors in the cradle just so you could appear to be original!
Panel 7:
Man: That seems unnecessarily complicated.
God: Sometimes people write complicated plots! Wow! There's an idea!
Votey:
A speech bubble (tail coming from above, off-panel) reading: Kiss all three of my asses!
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic with a dark teal background. A bearded man in a red shirt prays with hands clasped: "Dear God... why do people have to die..?" God answers in a yellow speech bubble: "You ungrateful bastard!" God reminds him that as an eight-year-old he prayed to become a successful author one day, and asks what he is now; the man answers, "An author." God then rants that to make the man's writing appear above average He had to kill countless people, listing "Men! Women! Children! Old folks who still had so much to live for! Young people just starting out! Particularly smart chimps!" God adds that He went back in time to murder a thousand popular authors in their cradles so the man could seem original. The man flatly replies, "That seems unnecessarily complicated," and God sarcastically snaps, "Sometimes people write complicated plots! Wow! There's an idea!" Votey: a black-and-white panel showing a speech bubble dangling from an off-panel source that reads, "Kiss all three of my asses!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.