probe
Original: probe on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A robot-like device (a cylindrical/canister-shaped machine with a single glowing oval eye on a stand) speaks.
Robot: "Greetings! Welcome to our first date!"
Panel 2: A man with red/orange hair sits across from the robot.
Man: "What?"
Robot: "Based on online profile analysis, circumstances were determined to be too socially intimidating to permit a 'manned' first date, so we've sent a robotic craft to take thermal and spectral readings and to lay the groundwork for a future crew."
Panel 3:
Man: "The groundwork?"
Robot: "I will now eject a payload containing a photo of me from a high angle, wearing a tastefully low-cut blouse." (A small payload is ejected from the canister.)
Panel 4:
Man: "I was hoping to talk! According to your profile you spend all your time learning and going on adventures!"
Robot: "Mission abort! Mission abort!" (The robot/probe flees, shown tumbling away.)
Votey: A woman with long flowing hair leans back, exhaling in relief, sweat drops flying.
Woman: "Whew! That was my Apollo 13!"
(A spacecraft/capsule with a window is shown beside her.)
Robot: "Greetings! Welcome to our first date!"
Panel 2: A man with red/orange hair sits across from the robot.
Man: "What?"
Robot: "Based on online profile analysis, circumstances were determined to be too socially intimidating to permit a 'manned' first date, so we've sent a robotic craft to take thermal and spectral readings and to lay the groundwork for a future crew."
Panel 3:
Man: "The groundwork?"
Robot: "I will now eject a payload containing a photo of me from a high angle, wearing a tastefully low-cut blouse." (A small payload is ejected from the canister.)
Panel 4:
Man: "I was hoping to talk! According to your profile you spend all your time learning and going on adventures!"
Robot: "Mission abort! Mission abort!" (The robot/probe flees, shown tumbling away.)
Votey: A woman with long flowing hair leans back, exhaling in relief, sweat drops flying.
Woman: "Whew! That was my Apollo 13!"
(A spacecraft/capsule with a window is shown beside her.)
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic framing online dating as a space mission. Panel 1: A cylindrical robotic probe with a single glowing oval eye, mounted on a stand, says "Greetings! Welcome to our first date!" Panel 2: A red-haired man says "What?" The robot explains that, based on online profile analysis, the circumstances were too socially intimidating to permit a 'manned' first date, so a robotic craft was sent to take thermal and spectral readings and lay the groundwork for a future crew. Panel 3: The man asks "The groundwork?" and the robot announces it will eject a payload containing a flattering high-angle photo of itself in a tastefully low-cut blouse, ejecting a small object. Panel 4: The man says he was hoping to talk, since her profile said she spends all her time learning and going on adventures; the probe panics, shouting "Mission abort! Mission abort!" and tumbles away. Votey: A woman with long flowing hair leans back exhaling in relief, sweat flying, beside a small spacecraft capsule, saying "Whew! That was my Apollo 13!" — likening her narrowly aborted date to NASA's famous near-disaster mission.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.