prosperity
Original: prosperity on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man with orange hair: HELL?! BUT I WAS GOOD MY ENTIRE LIFE!
Panel 2:
The Devil (a red, horned figure): WHY DIDN'T YOU FOLLOW THOSE 'PROSPERITY GOSPEL' PREACHERS? THE ONES WHO MAKE YOU RICH FOR "CATCHING THE HOLY SPIRIT."
Panel 3:
Man: THAT WORKS?
Panel 4:
The Devil: SURE. HOW DO YOU THINK THEY ALL GOT PRIVATE JETS AND MANSIONS? MAGIC?
Panel 5:
Man: AH. BUT... DON'T THOSE PEOPLE GO TO HELL?
Panel 6:
The Devil: EVERYONE GOES TO HELL. BUT SOME PEOPLE GET TO BE RICH BEFOREHAND.
Panel 7:
(The man looks down, dejected; the Devil watches.)
Panel 8:
Man: I THOUGHT MORTAL LIFE WAS A TEST.
Panel 9:
The Devil (writing on a paper): THEN IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT A BIG FAT F.
Votey:
(The Devil, holding a pen over the graded paper, adds a remark.)
ACTUALLY, D+, BECAUSE YOU DID SOME CHOICE COVETING YOUR NEIGHBOR.
Man with orange hair: HELL?! BUT I WAS GOOD MY ENTIRE LIFE!
Panel 2:
The Devil (a red, horned figure): WHY DIDN'T YOU FOLLOW THOSE 'PROSPERITY GOSPEL' PREACHERS? THE ONES WHO MAKE YOU RICH FOR "CATCHING THE HOLY SPIRIT."
Panel 3:
Man: THAT WORKS?
Panel 4:
The Devil: SURE. HOW DO YOU THINK THEY ALL GOT PRIVATE JETS AND MANSIONS? MAGIC?
Panel 5:
Man: AH. BUT... DON'T THOSE PEOPLE GO TO HELL?
Panel 6:
The Devil: EVERYONE GOES TO HELL. BUT SOME PEOPLE GET TO BE RICH BEFOREHAND.
Panel 7:
(The man looks down, dejected; the Devil watches.)
Panel 8:
Man: I THOUGHT MORTAL LIFE WAS A TEST.
Panel 9:
The Devil (writing on a paper): THEN IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT A BIG FAT F.
Votey:
(The Devil, holding a pen over the graded paper, adds a remark.)
ACTUALLY, D+, BECAUSE YOU DID SOME CHOICE COVETING YOUR NEIGHBOR.
Alt text
A nine-panel comic. A man with orange hair has arrived in Hell and protests to a smiling red horned Devil, "Hell?! But I was good my entire life!" The Devil asks why he didn't follow 'prosperity gospel' preachers, the ones who make you rich for "catching the Holy Spirit." The man asks, "That works?" The Devil replies, "Sure. How do you think they all got private jets and mansions? Magic?" The man asks, "Ah. But... don't those people go to hell?" The Devil answers, "Everyone goes to hell. But some people get to be rich beforehand." The dejected man says, "I thought mortal life was a test." The Devil, now grading a paper with a pen, says, "Then it sounds like you got a big fat F." Votey (aftercomic): The Devil scribbles a correction on the graded paper, saying, "Actually, D+, because you did some choice coveting your neighbor."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.