Original: email on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A woman with red hair sits at a laptop.
Woman: I've noticed that if I check email constantly it eats, like, 4 hours a day. But, if I check it once a day, it's only 20 minutes.
Panel 2: A man (dark hair) faces her.
Man: That's a good point.
Panel 3: The woman, smiling, glasses reflecting white.
Woman: It's not just a point. It's a lifestyle choice.
Panel 4: The woman gestures, excited.
Woman: I'm going to stop answering email altogether. I'll let it pile up in my inbox. Then, the day before I die, I'll answer it all at once, allowing me to save the maximum amount of time.
Panel 5: The man looks skeptical; the woman beams while looking at the laptop.
Man: Don't you think you'll regret spending your final moments answering a mountain of emails?
Panel 6: Close-up of the woman, grinning, glasses glowing white.
Woman: I have that all worked out.
Panel 7: Caption: DECADES LATER...
The woman, now elderly, lies in a hospital bed with an IV drip, fist raised.
Woman: Computer! Tell everyone in my inbox that I can't respond because I'm going to die. Hahahahahaha!
Votey:
A close-up of the elderly woman's face, eyes closed, smiling/laughing wildly with messy hair, the IV pole visible behind her.
Woman: I've noticed that if I check email constantly it eats, like, 4 hours a day. But, if I check it once a day, it's only 20 minutes.
Panel 2: A man (dark hair) faces her.
Man: That's a good point.
Panel 3: The woman, smiling, glasses reflecting white.
Woman: It's not just a point. It's a lifestyle choice.
Panel 4: The woman gestures, excited.
Woman: I'm going to stop answering email altogether. I'll let it pile up in my inbox. Then, the day before I die, I'll answer it all at once, allowing me to save the maximum amount of time.
Panel 5: The man looks skeptical; the woman beams while looking at the laptop.
Man: Don't you think you'll regret spending your final moments answering a mountain of emails?
Panel 6: Close-up of the woman, grinning, glasses glowing white.
Woman: I have that all worked out.
Panel 7: Caption: DECADES LATER...
The woman, now elderly, lies in a hospital bed with an IV drip, fist raised.
Woman: Computer! Tell everyone in my inbox that I can't respond because I'm going to die. Hahahahahaha!
Votey:
A close-up of the elderly woman's face, eyes closed, smiling/laughing wildly with messy hair, the IV pole visible behind her.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired woman at a laptop tells a man that checking email constantly eats four hours a day, but checking it once a day takes only twenty minutes. He says it's a good point; she declares it's not just a point, it's a lifestyle choice. She announces she'll stop answering email entirely, let it pile up, and answer it all at once the day before she dies to save the maximum time. The man asks if she'll regret spending her final moments answering a mountain of emails. Grinning, she says she has it all worked out. Caption: 'DECADES LATER...' Now elderly and in a hospital bed with an IV drip, she raises a fist and cackles: 'Computer! Tell everyone in my inbox that I can't respond because I'm going to die. Hahahahahaha!' Votey: a close-up of the old woman's face, eyes shut, laughing maniacally with disheveled hair beside the IV pole.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.