transaction-2
Original: transaction-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man with red hair: Jesus?
Jesus: Yes, my son. I have returned with good news for humanity.
Panel 2:
Man with red hair: OH MAN can I have three wishes!
Jesus: You do not need them. You have the love of the Lord.
Panel 3:
Man with red hair: Sorry, after years of life in a transactional culture I perceive all other life forms as vending machines for my physical and emotional desires.
Panel 4:
Jesus: You are not here to be rich, to have many things. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Panel 5:
Jesus: Sell your possessions and give them to the poor. Then you will be perfect. You will have treasure in the...
Panel 6:
Jesus: Are you swiping your credit card on me?
Man with red hair: Do you count as entertainment? I get 2% back for entertainment.
Votey:
Jesus (offscreen, speech bubble): Oh, are you the chip kind.
(The red-haired man holds up a credit card to swipe.)
Man with red hair: Jesus?
Jesus: Yes, my son. I have returned with good news for humanity.
Panel 2:
Man with red hair: OH MAN can I have three wishes!
Jesus: You do not need them. You have the love of the Lord.
Panel 3:
Man with red hair: Sorry, after years of life in a transactional culture I perceive all other life forms as vending machines for my physical and emotional desires.
Panel 4:
Jesus: You are not here to be rich, to have many things. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Panel 5:
Jesus: Sell your possessions and give them to the poor. Then you will be perfect. You will have treasure in the...
Panel 6:
Jesus: Are you swiping your credit card on me?
Man with red hair: Do you count as entertainment? I get 2% back for entertainment.
Votey:
Jesus (offscreen, speech bubble): Oh, are you the chip kind.
(The red-haired man holds up a credit card to swipe.)
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Jesus appears to a red-haired man. Panel 1: the man asks "Jesus?" and Jesus says he has returned with good news for humanity. Panel 2: the man excitedly asks "OH MAN can I have three wishes!" Jesus replies he does not need them, he has the love of the Lord. Panel 3: the man explains that after years in a transactional culture, he perceives all other life forms as vending machines for his physical and emotional desires. Panel 4: Jesus says he is not here to be rich or have many things, and to love his neighbor as himself. Panel 5: Jesus tells him to sell his possessions and give to the poor, and he will have treasure in the... Panel 6: Jesus interrupts, asking "Are you swiping your credit card on me?" The man replies, "Do you count as entertainment? I get 2% back for entertainment." Votey: the man holds up a credit card to swipe, and Jesus's voice says "Oh, are you the chip kind."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.