cryptography
Original: cryptography on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A man with brown hair in a red shirt stands with his arms raised triumphantly beside a gray missile/warhead.
Man: HAHAHAHA! THANKS TO QUANTUM CRYPTOGRAPHY, NOBODY WILL EVER FIND OUT WHAT THE NUCLEAR LAUNCH CODES ARE!
Panel 2:
Caption: LATER...
A masked person (in a black balaclava) confronts the same red-shirted man, who now looks angry/defiant.
Masked person: GIMME THE LAUNCH CODES.
Man: NEVER!
Panel 3:
Masked person: I PUT A VIRUS ON YOUR COMPUTER THAT RECORDS WHAT PORNO YOU WATCH.
Man (now nervous): DO YOU HAVE A PEN?
Votey:
A close-up of the man's face, looking wide-eyed and unsettled.
Man: DON'T FEEL BAD. IT HELPED CONVINCE ME TO LAUNCH THE NUKES.
A man with brown hair in a red shirt stands with his arms raised triumphantly beside a gray missile/warhead.
Man: HAHAHAHA! THANKS TO QUANTUM CRYPTOGRAPHY, NOBODY WILL EVER FIND OUT WHAT THE NUCLEAR LAUNCH CODES ARE!
Panel 2:
Caption: LATER...
A masked person (in a black balaclava) confronts the same red-shirted man, who now looks angry/defiant.
Masked person: GIMME THE LAUNCH CODES.
Man: NEVER!
Panel 3:
Masked person: I PUT A VIRUS ON YOUR COMPUTER THAT RECORDS WHAT PORNO YOU WATCH.
Man (now nervous): DO YOU HAVE A PEN?
Votey:
A close-up of the man's face, looking wide-eyed and unsettled.
Man: DON'T FEEL BAD. IT HELPED CONVINCE ME TO LAUNCH THE NUKES.
Alt text
A three-panel comic. Panel 1: a brown-haired man in a red shirt throws his arms up in triumph next to a gray nuclear missile, gloating, "Hahaha! Thanks to quantum cryptography, nobody will ever find out what the nuclear launch codes are!" Panel 2, captioned "Later...": a person in a black ski mask confronts him and demands, "Gimme the launch codes," and the man defiantly refuses, "Never!" Panel 3: the masked person says, "I put a virus on your computer that records what porno you watch," and the now-nervous man immediately caves, asking, "Do you have a pen?" Votey (aftercomic): a close-up of the man's wide-eyed, unsettled face as he tries to reassure the masked person, "Don't feel bad. It helped convince me to launch the nukes." The joke: unbreakable quantum cryptography is useless against blackmail, and the embarrassment leverage is far more decisive than the security.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.