health
Original: health on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Presenter: Humanity has long dreamed of faster modes of transit, but the technology and engineering were simply too expensive.
Panel 2:
Presenter: Meanwhile, the cost of healthcare in this country has grown. We now spend several trillion dollars more than necessary, while other countries offer their citizens healthcare that is free or cheap at the point of purchase.
Panel 3:
Presenter: I propose a project that solves both problems.
Panel 4 (presenter at a podium beside a diagram of a pneumatic tube):
Label on diagram: A pneumatic tube that shoots humans from America to countries with socialized healthcare!
Panel 5:
Presenter: Imagine you have a broken leg. Instead of wondering how to pay for it, you proceed to a nearby health-capsule. From there, you are transported to Britain, Canada, Japan, or pretty much any other developed nation, at Mach 10.
Panel 6 (presenter gesturing at a world map):
Label: At a price tag of 2 trillion dollars, it represents a significant savings over current policy.
Panel 7:
Presenter: At a price tag of 3 trillion dollars, it represents a significant savings over current policy.
Panel 8 (audience members):
Audience member: Other nations may object to this.
Panel 9:
Presenter: Not if they value their safety!
Panel 10:
Label: A sick person in a metal capsule flying at Mach 10 is effectively an inbound kinetic explosive.
Presenter: The cost of trying to stop the capsule would be substantially higher than simply treating the sick American and sending it home!
Panel 11:
Audience member: What if they declare war?
Panel 12:
Presenter: Then the good news is that were already invading!
Bottom banner:
BAHFest MIT Returns.
April 22, 7PM, Kresge Auditorium, MIT
Featuring: Me, Ryan North, Abby Howard, Max Tegmark, & more!
CLICK COMIC FOR TICKETS AND INFORMATION
Votey:
Presenter (grinning): We can shape the capsules like bullets!
Presenter: Humanity has long dreamed of faster modes of transit, but the technology and engineering were simply too expensive.
Panel 2:
Presenter: Meanwhile, the cost of healthcare in this country has grown. We now spend several trillion dollars more than necessary, while other countries offer their citizens healthcare that is free or cheap at the point of purchase.
Panel 3:
Presenter: I propose a project that solves both problems.
Panel 4 (presenter at a podium beside a diagram of a pneumatic tube):
Label on diagram: A pneumatic tube that shoots humans from America to countries with socialized healthcare!
Panel 5:
Presenter: Imagine you have a broken leg. Instead of wondering how to pay for it, you proceed to a nearby health-capsule. From there, you are transported to Britain, Canada, Japan, or pretty much any other developed nation, at Mach 10.
Panel 6 (presenter gesturing at a world map):
Label: At a price tag of 2 trillion dollars, it represents a significant savings over current policy.
Panel 7:
Presenter: At a price tag of 3 trillion dollars, it represents a significant savings over current policy.
Panel 8 (audience members):
Audience member: Other nations may object to this.
Panel 9:
Presenter: Not if they value their safety!
Panel 10:
Label: A sick person in a metal capsule flying at Mach 10 is effectively an inbound kinetic explosive.
Presenter: The cost of trying to stop the capsule would be substantially higher than simply treating the sick American and sending it home!
Panel 11:
Audience member: What if they declare war?
Panel 12:
Presenter: Then the good news is that were already invading!
Bottom banner:
BAHFest MIT Returns.
April 22, 7PM, Kresge Auditorium, MIT
Featuring: Me, Ryan North, Abby Howard, Max Tegmark, & more!
CLICK COMIC FOR TICKETS AND INFORMATION
Votey:
Presenter (grinning): We can shape the capsules like bullets!
Alt text
A man in a suit gives a deadpan TED-talk-style presentation, standing at a podium with diagrams. He explains that humanity has long dreamed of faster transit but it was too expensive, while healthcare in America costs trillions more than in countries with free or cheap care. His solution, shown as a labeled diagram: a pneumatic tube that shoots humans from America to countries with socialized healthcare. He describes a person with a broken leg entering a 'health-capsule' and being transported to Britain, Canada, Japan, or any developed nation at Mach 10. Gesturing at a world map, he claims a price tag of 2 trillion (corrected in the next panel to 3 trillion) dollars represents savings over current policy. An audience member worries other nations may object; he replies 'Not if they value their safety!' because a sick person in a metal capsule flying at Mach 10 is effectively an inbound kinetic explosive, so stopping it costs more than treating and returning the American. Asked what if they declare war, he beams: 'Then the good news is that were already invading!' A bottom banner advertises BAHFest MIT, April 22, 7PM, Kresge Auditorium, featuring Ryan North, Abby Howard, Max Tegmark and more. The votey shows a close-up of the grinning presenter adding: 'We can shape the capsules like bullets!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.