monster

A 12-panel SMBC comic. A young boy in bed tells his dad, "Dad! There's a monster under my bed!" His bespectacled, mustached dad launches into a lecture: "Funny you should mention that! In fact, half of the universe is technically 'under' your bed!" and continues, "The universe doesn't recognize the idea of 'under.' It's a flawed concept in the mind of a terrestrial ape who thinks only about the particular rock he was born on!" A green, lizard-like monster is in fact crouching under the bed and begins to beg, "Mercy! Okay? Mercy!" The dad, exasperated, relents: "I give up. Stop. Look, the boy clearly meant that I was in the immediate vicinity of this part of his bed!" The monster replies, "God, you're obtuse!" The dad keeps ranting, "Does everything parents do now have to have a lesson? What about FUN? You're raising a generation of neurotic self-obsessed workaholics! Live a little!" as the monster flees out the bedroom door, which slams shut with a "slam!" The dad turns back to his son: "But you see what I meant about the relative position of things." Then, deadpan: "I should've let it eat me." Votey: a close-up of the green monster's face looking upward with an intense, weary expression, saying, "You must avenge my mediocrity."