epictetish
Original: epictetish on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Caption (top banner): I WISH ALL EDUCATIONAL TEXTS WERE WRITTEN LIKE EPICTETUS WROTE.
Panel: A close-up profile of a person with curly brown hair, eyes closed, lying down. A book or page is open in front of their face. The text on the page reads:
Text on page: WHAT HAPLESS WRETCH? DO YOU SUPPOSE [integral of sqrt(x^2 + x) dx = (x^2 + x)^(1/4) ...] AND WHEN YOU EAT, DO YOU CARRY THE FOOD TO YOUR MOUTH OR TO YOUR EYES? SLAVE!
Votey:
Epictetus Summarized:
"Why aren't you happy, you pathetic garbage?!"
Panel: A close-up profile of a person with curly brown hair, eyes closed, lying down. A book or page is open in front of their face. The text on the page reads:
Text on page: WHAT HAPLESS WRETCH? DO YOU SUPPOSE [integral of sqrt(x^2 + x) dx = (x^2 + x)^(1/4) ...] AND WHEN YOU EAT, DO YOU CARRY THE FOOD TO YOUR MOUTH OR TO YOUR EYES? SLAVE!
Votey:
Epictetus Summarized:
"Why aren't you happy, you pathetic garbage?!"
Alt text
A close-up of a person with curly brown hair lying down with eyes closed, reading an open book held near their face. The top caption reads: "I wish all educational texts were written like Epictetus wrote." The book's text mixes harsh Stoic-style rhetoric with an absurd math equation: "What hapless wretch? Do you suppose [an integral equation] and when you eat, do you carry the food to your mouth or to your eyes? Slave!" The joke is that ancient Stoic philosophy reads like aggressive insults. Votey (small follow-up panel): handwritten text reading "Epictetus Summarized: 'Why aren't you happy, you pathetic garbage?!'"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.