the-old-days
Original: the-old-days on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Old man (bald, wearing glasses, seated in an armchair): "This country has lost its way. We need to go back to the good old days when America was prosperous."
Girl (young, red hair): "That's easy!"
Panel 2:
Girl: "All you have to do is fight a just war against a powerful overseas enemy during a time when major discoveries in computation, transportation, and energy production have just occurred. Prosecute the war in such a way that every powerful nation but your own is ruined afterward. Collect fleeing scientists and engineers. As your troops return, enjoy the burst of social cohesion and the boom in manufacturing as you supply a devastated planet, while the world's best minds create ever better products, industries, and discoveries within your borders."
Panel 3:
Girl (smiling): (no dialogue)
Panel 4:
Old man: "Or we could stop letting gays marry."
Girl: "Your plan does have the virtue of simplicity."
Votey:
A close-up of the girl's smiling face in a speech bubble: "Fuck you, you old bastard."
Old man (bald, wearing glasses, seated in an armchair): "This country has lost its way. We need to go back to the good old days when America was prosperous."
Girl (young, red hair): "That's easy!"
Panel 2:
Girl: "All you have to do is fight a just war against a powerful overseas enemy during a time when major discoveries in computation, transportation, and energy production have just occurred. Prosecute the war in such a way that every powerful nation but your own is ruined afterward. Collect fleeing scientists and engineers. As your troops return, enjoy the burst of social cohesion and the boom in manufacturing as you supply a devastated planet, while the world's best minds create ever better products, industries, and discoveries within your borders."
Panel 3:
Girl (smiling): (no dialogue)
Panel 4:
Old man: "Or we could stop letting gays marry."
Girl: "Your plan does have the virtue of simplicity."
Votey:
A close-up of the girl's smiling face in a speech bubble: "Fuck you, you old bastard."
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A bald old man in glasses sits in an armchair and says, "This country has lost its way. We need to go back to the good old days when America was prosperous." A young red-haired girl replies, "That's easy!" Panel 2: The girl delivers a long deadpan explanation: all you have to do is fight a just war against a powerful overseas enemy during an era of major breakthroughs in computation, transportation, and energy; prosecute the war so every powerful nation but your own is ruined; collect fleeing scientists and engineers; and enjoy the resulting social cohesion and manufacturing boom as you supply a devastated planet while the world's best minds invent within your borders. Panel 3: The girl smiles. Panel 4: The old man, unfazed, says, "Or we could stop letting gays marry," and the girl dryly answers, "Your plan does have the virtue of simplicity." The joke skewers simplistic nostalgia about American greatness versus the actual historical conditions behind it. Votey aftercomic: a hand-drawn close-up of the smiling girl with a speech bubble reading, "Fuck you, you old bastard."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.