insults
Original: insults on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man: HONEY, I GOT YOU THIS NOVELTY SCALE. WHEN YOU STAND ON IT, IT SHOUTS INSULTS.
Panel 2:
Woman: HA! LEMME TRY IT!
Panel 3 (the woman stands on the scale):
Scale: YOUR MOST PRODUCTIVE YEARS ARE OVER AND YOU'VE DONE NOTHING.
Panel 4:
Man (looking dismayed): I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA DO FAT JOKES.
Panel 5:
Scale: YOUR CHILDREN WILL LOVE, BUT NEVER RESPECT YOU.
Votey:
The scale (a bottom-corner shape with a jagged speech tail): Your wife requested these particular recordings.
Man: HONEY, I GOT YOU THIS NOVELTY SCALE. WHEN YOU STAND ON IT, IT SHOUTS INSULTS.
Panel 2:
Woman: HA! LEMME TRY IT!
Panel 3 (the woman stands on the scale):
Scale: YOUR MOST PRODUCTIVE YEARS ARE OVER AND YOU'VE DONE NOTHING.
Panel 4:
Man (looking dismayed): I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA DO FAT JOKES.
Panel 5:
Scale: YOUR CHILDREN WILL LOVE, BUT NEVER RESPECT YOU.
Votey:
The scale (a bottom-corner shape with a jagged speech tail): Your wife requested these particular recordings.
Alt text
A five-panel comic. Panel 1: a bald man tells a woman, "Honey, I got you this novelty scale. When you stand on it, it shouts insults." Panel 2: the woman grins and says, "Ha! Lemme try it!" Panel 3: she stands on the scale, which shouts, "Your most productive years are over and you've done nothing," rather than the fat joke expected. Panel 4: the man looks crestfallen and says, "I thought it was gonna do fat jokes." Panel 5: the scale continues, "Your children will love, but never respect you," while the man and woman look uncomfortable. Votey (aftercomic): a hand-drawn shape of the scale with a jagged speech bubble saying, "Your wife requested these particular recordings" - revealing she pre-programmed the existential insults herself.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.