200-percent
Original: 200-percent on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Coach (a bald man with glasses): Team, I want you to go out and give me 200%!
Panel 2:
A player (one of several athletes in green jerseys numbered 22 and 1): Huh? That doesn't make any sense. How can we do that?
Panel 3:
Coach (holding a tablet): I don't know, but according to our calculations, the other team is three times better than us, using a metric that considers strength, intelligence, stamina, and those intangible qualities that dwell in the heart of a champion.
Panel 4:
Coach: They're actually twelve times better on that last factor.
Panel 5:
Coach: Given that you are statistically inferior, I can either encourage you to 'give it 200%,' or I can just say, "if you win, it's because sometimes the other guy rolls a snake-eyes."
Panel 6:
The player: I guess I'll try for 200% then.
Panel 7:
Coach: To be clear, that'll only make the game a coin toss.
Caption beneath the comic: This bonus comic is thanks to preorders of "Soonish." We are launching October 17th! Click for more info.
Votey:
The coach (drawn close-up, looking tired): Personally, I'm hoping the other team all get food poisoning or something.
Coach (a bald man with glasses): Team, I want you to go out and give me 200%!
Panel 2:
A player (one of several athletes in green jerseys numbered 22 and 1): Huh? That doesn't make any sense. How can we do that?
Panel 3:
Coach (holding a tablet): I don't know, but according to our calculations, the other team is three times better than us, using a metric that considers strength, intelligence, stamina, and those intangible qualities that dwell in the heart of a champion.
Panel 4:
Coach: They're actually twelve times better on that last factor.
Panel 5:
Coach: Given that you are statistically inferior, I can either encourage you to 'give it 200%,' or I can just say, "if you win, it's because sometimes the other guy rolls a snake-eyes."
Panel 6:
The player: I guess I'll try for 200% then.
Panel 7:
Coach: To be clear, that'll only make the game a coin toss.
Caption beneath the comic: This bonus comic is thanks to preorders of "Soonish." We are launching October 17th! Click for more info.
Votey:
The coach (drawn close-up, looking tired): Personally, I'm hoping the other team all get food poisoning or something.
Alt text
A seven-panel comic. A bald, bespectacled coach in a shirt and tie addresses his team of athletes (green jerseys numbered 22 and 1). Coach: "Team, I want you to go out and give me 200%!" A player: "Huh? That doesn't make any sense. How can we do that?" Holding a tablet, the coach explains: "I don't know, but according to our calculations, the other team is three times better than us, using a metric that considers strength, intelligence, stamina, and those intangible qualities that dwell in the heart of a champion. They're actually twelve times better on that last factor." He continues: "Given that you are statistically inferior, I can either encourage you to 'give it 200%,' or I can just say, 'if you win, it's because sometimes the other guy rolls a snake-eyes.'" The player resignedly says, "I guess I'll try for 200% then." The coach replies, "To be clear, that'll only make the game a coin toss." A caption notes the comic is a bonus thanks to preorders of the book "Soonish," launching October 17th. Votey: a close-up of the weary-faced coach saying, "Personally, I'm hoping the other team all get food poisoning or something."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.