tell-my-wife
Original: tell-my-wife on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A wounded soldier lying on the ground, gripping the collar of another soldier who leans over him.
Wounded soldier: This may be it, Hank. If I don't make it back, tell my wife that a frank consideration of the marriage statistics suggests we would have only had 4.6 more years.
Votey:
A close-up of the wounded soldier's face, eyes closed, near death.
Wounded soldier: Tell her I'm assuming we have a statistically average marriage.
A wounded soldier lying on the ground, gripping the collar of another soldier who leans over him.
Wounded soldier: This may be it, Hank. If I don't make it back, tell my wife that a frank consideration of the marriage statistics suggests we would have only had 4.6 more years.
Votey:
A close-up of the wounded soldier's face, eyes closed, near death.
Wounded soldier: Tell her I'm assuming we have a statistically average marriage.
Alt text
A two-panel comic. In the first panel, a dying soldier lying on the ground clutches the collar of a fellow soldier named Hank who leans over him. The dying soldier delivers a dramatic last request: 'This may be it, Hank. If I don't make it back, tell my wife that a frank consideration of the marriage statistics suggests we would have only had 4.6 more years.' The joke subverts the trope of a dying soldier's heartfelt message to a loved one by replacing it with a cold statistical estimate of the marriage's likely remaining duration. Votey (aftercomic): A close-up of the soldier's face with eyes closed, near death, adding: 'Tell her I'm assuming we have a statistically average marriage.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.