second-coming
Original: second-coming on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A robed, bearded figure resembling Jesus descends from the sky with arms outstretched over a crowd of silhouetted onlookers.
Jesus: I have returned!
Panel 2: Jesus, seen from behind, addresses the crowd.
Jesus: All followers of the true path shall enter—
Person in crowd: Is oral sex okay?
Panel 3: A woman in a pink shirt speaks.
Woman: We've been doing like, tons of it down here.
Panel 4: Jesus replies, looking unimpressed.
Jesus: No. It's against the rules. Sorry. Anyway. The followers of the true path shall.
Panel 5: A wide landscape shot. Jesus, now a small distant figure, floats back up into the sky over green hills. The woman and a balding man stand far apart in the foreground.
Jesus: Hey!
Votey:
A balding man with a worried expression looks off to the side, thinking.
Man (thought/speech bubble): Maybe if I come back next week, they'll have stopped.
Jesus: I have returned!
Panel 2: Jesus, seen from behind, addresses the crowd.
Jesus: All followers of the true path shall enter—
Person in crowd: Is oral sex okay?
Panel 3: A woman in a pink shirt speaks.
Woman: We've been doing like, tons of it down here.
Panel 4: Jesus replies, looking unimpressed.
Jesus: No. It's against the rules. Sorry. Anyway. The followers of the true path shall.
Panel 5: A wide landscape shot. Jesus, now a small distant figure, floats back up into the sky over green hills. The woman and a balding man stand far apart in the foreground.
Jesus: Hey!
Votey:
A balding man with a worried expression looks off to the side, thinking.
Man (thought/speech bubble): Maybe if I come back next week, they'll have stopped.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. A Jesus-like figure descends from the sky with arms outstretched and announces "I have returned!" to a crowd. He begins, "All followers of the true path shall enter—" but someone in the crowd interrupts: "Is oral sex okay?" A woman adds, "We've been doing like, tons of it down here." Jesus, unimpressed, replies, "No. It's against the rules. Sorry. Anyway. The followers of the true path shall." In the final wide panel, Jesus has given up and is floating back into the sky as a tiny distant figure, calling "Hey!" while the people stand around indifferently. Votey (aftercomic): a balding, worried-looking man thinks to himself, "Maybe if I come back next week, they'll have stopped"—implying Jesus is hoping humanity will stop having oral sex so he can resume his second coming.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.