marshmallow-test
Original: marshmallow-test on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (with gray hair, presenting): According to the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, kids who can look at a marshmallow for a long time without eating it tend to be healthier, smarter and richer.
Panel 2:
Woman: The solution is clear.
Panel 3:
Woman: We must use CRISPR to alter every child's gene expression so they dislike the taste of marshmallow!
Panel 4:
Woman (gesturing, eyes wide): This should result in all children being superior within a single generation!
Panel 5:
A man (in glasses, off to the side): I don't know if we should conduct novel gene therapies on all babies at the same time.
Panel 6:
Woman (to the skeptical man, now flanked by a small crowd): I see you're in the pocket of Big Marshmallow.
Votey:
(No text. A close-up of a balding man's face looking uneasy or skeptical.)
Woman (with gray hair, presenting): According to the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, kids who can look at a marshmallow for a long time without eating it tend to be healthier, smarter and richer.
Panel 2:
Woman: The solution is clear.
Panel 3:
Woman: We must use CRISPR to alter every child's gene expression so they dislike the taste of marshmallow!
Panel 4:
Woman (gesturing, eyes wide): This should result in all children being superior within a single generation!
Panel 5:
A man (in glasses, off to the side): I don't know if we should conduct novel gene therapies on all babies at the same time.
Panel 6:
Woman (to the skeptical man, now flanked by a small crowd): I see you're in the pocket of Big Marshmallow.
Votey:
(No text. A close-up of a balding man's face looking uneasy or skeptical.)
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A gray-haired woman gives a presentation. Panel 1: she says that according to the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, kids who can resist eating a marshmallow tend to be healthier, smarter, and richer. Panel 2: 'The solution is clear.' Panel 3: she enthusiastically proposes using CRISPR to alter every child's gene expression so they dislike the taste of marshmallow. Panel 4: wide-eyed, she declares this will make all children superior within a single generation. Panel 5: a bespectacled man hesitantly objects that maybe they shouldn't conduct novel gene therapies on all babies at once. Panel 6: the woman, now backed by a small crowd, accuses him: 'I see you're in the pocket of Big Marshmallow.' The joke skewers how a reasonable safety concern is dismissed as corrupt shilling. Votey aftercomic: a wordless close-up of a balding man's face wearing an uneasy, unconvinced expression.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.