the-nature-of-weenies
Original: the-nature-of-weenies on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Bearded man (Hank), tending a grill with hot dogs and holding up a sausage on a fork: "I want you to know, idea for a hot dog roast came to me after I visualized the human sex act."
Panel 2:
Hank (continuing): "Fortunately, neither the manner in which the hot dog roast came about, nor the mental concepts I held as the weenies were cooked, are in any way intrinsic to the hot dogs themselves."
Panel 3:
Hank (holding the sausage aloft on a fork): "So gentlemen, eat freely, for the notion that an object's history is contained within itself is the hobgoblin of a myth-addled mind!"
Panel 4:
Two guests look at Hank, unimpressed. A bald man with gray hair replies: "Hank, you got weird after that ontology class." Hank, now holding a bowl: "Who wants tossed salad?"
Bearded man (Hank), tending a grill with hot dogs and holding up a sausage on a fork: "I want you to know, idea for a hot dog roast came to me after I visualized the human sex act."
Panel 2:
Hank (continuing): "Fortunately, neither the manner in which the hot dog roast came about, nor the mental concepts I held as the weenies were cooked, are in any way intrinsic to the hot dogs themselves."
Panel 3:
Hank (holding the sausage aloft on a fork): "So gentlemen, eat freely, for the notion that an object's history is contained within itself is the hobgoblin of a myth-addled mind!"
Panel 4:
Two guests look at Hank, unimpressed. A bald man with gray hair replies: "Hank, you got weird after that ontology class." Hank, now holding a bowl: "Who wants tossed salad?"
Alt text
A four-panel comic. A bearded man named Hank stands at a backyard grill, holding a cooked sausage up on a long fork. Over three panels he delivers an increasingly pretentious philosophical monologue to his guests: he says the idea for the hot dog roast came to him after he visualized the human sex act, then insists that neither the manner in which the roast came about nor the mental concepts he held while cooking are in any way intrinsic to the hot dogs themselves, concluding grandly that the notion an object's history is contained within itself is 'the hobgoblin of a myth-addled mind.' In the final panel, two unimpressed guests look on; a bald man with gray hair flatly tells him, 'Hank, you got weird after that ontology class,' while Hank, holding a bowl, cheerfully offers, 'Who wants tossed salad?'
Votey: A close-up of Hank's face, looking somber. A speech bubble reads, 'I made it while contemplating the horror of war.'
Votey: A close-up of Hank's face, looking somber. A speech bubble reads, 'I made it while contemplating the horror of war.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.