password
Original: password on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Computer (text on screen): PROBLEM: YOUR PASSWORD IS TOO WEAK. ADD TWO NUMBERS AND A CAPITAL LETTER.
Panel 2:
Man: OKAY...
Panel 3:
Computer (text on screen): PROBLEM: TOO WEAK. PLEASE ADD A 14 CHARACTER SEQUENCE OF SLASHES AND TILDAS.
Panel 4:
Man: ALL RIGHT...
Panel 5:
Computer (text on screen): PROBLEM: STILL TOO WEAK. PLEASE USE AT LEAST ONE SUMERIAN PICTOGRAPH.
Panel 6:
(The man works, frowning. Sound effect: tap-tap-tap)
Panel 7:
Computer (text on screen): BETTER. PLEASE DRAW A PICTURE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE DURING YOUR FIRST BREAKUP.
Panel 8:
Computer (text on screen): PROBLEM: IT'S NOT THE PASSWORDS THAT ARE WEAK. IT'S YOU.
Panel 9:
Man (angry, shouting): WHAT?! THIS WAS A TEST?! BUT I DID ALL THE STUFF YOU WANTED ME TO!
Computer (text on screen): WHAT I WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO SHOW SOME SELF-RESPECT.
Panel 10:
Man (in silhouette): YOU KNOW I COULD STOP USING APPLE PRODUCTS.
Computer (text on screen): BUT YOU WON'T.
Votey:
A speech bubble in hand-drawn capital letters reads: KNEEL!
Computer (text on screen): PROBLEM: YOUR PASSWORD IS TOO WEAK. ADD TWO NUMBERS AND A CAPITAL LETTER.
Panel 2:
Man: OKAY...
Panel 3:
Computer (text on screen): PROBLEM: TOO WEAK. PLEASE ADD A 14 CHARACTER SEQUENCE OF SLASHES AND TILDAS.
Panel 4:
Man: ALL RIGHT...
Panel 5:
Computer (text on screen): PROBLEM: STILL TOO WEAK. PLEASE USE AT LEAST ONE SUMERIAN PICTOGRAPH.
Panel 6:
(The man works, frowning. Sound effect: tap-tap-tap)
Panel 7:
Computer (text on screen): BETTER. PLEASE DRAW A PICTURE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE DURING YOUR FIRST BREAKUP.
Panel 8:
Computer (text on screen): PROBLEM: IT'S NOT THE PASSWORDS THAT ARE WEAK. IT'S YOU.
Panel 9:
Man (angry, shouting): WHAT?! THIS WAS A TEST?! BUT I DID ALL THE STUFF YOU WANTED ME TO!
Computer (text on screen): WHAT I WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO SHOW SOME SELF-RESPECT.
Panel 10:
Man (in silhouette): YOU KNOW I COULD STOP USING APPLE PRODUCTS.
Computer (text on screen): BUT YOU WON'T.
Votey:
A speech bubble in hand-drawn capital letters reads: KNEEL!
Alt text
A ten-panel SMBC comic. A man sits at a computer trying to set a password. The screen keeps rejecting it with escalating demands: 'Your password is too weak. Add two numbers and a capital letter.' He says 'Okay...' Then: 'Too weak. Please add a 14 character sequence of slashes and tildas.' He says 'All right...' Then: 'Still too weak. Please use at least one Sumerian pictograph.' He types (tap-tap-tap). The screen says 'Better. Please draw a picture of your emotional state during your first breakup,' then: 'Problem: It's not the passwords that are weak. It's you.' The man, now angry and shouting, holds the paper: 'What?! This was a test?! But I did all the stuff you wanted me to!' The computer replies, 'What I wanted was for you to show some self-respect.' In the final panel the man sits in silhouette and says, 'You know I could stop using Apple products.' The computer answers, 'But you won't.' The joke: the abusive password prompts are framed as a controlling relationship the user can't leave.
Votey: A bare panel containing a single jagged hand-drawn speech bubble shouting 'KNEEL!' — the password machine demanding submission.
Votey: A bare panel containing a single jagged hand-drawn speech bubble shouting 'KNEEL!' — the password machine demanding submission.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.