dead
Original: dead on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (wide top panel): A priest stands at a podium at the front of a funeral, addressing the gathered mourners. There is a coffin nearby.
Priest: "We are gathered here to say our final farewell to Aaron Andrews, who is way totally dead."
Panel 2: Close-up of the smiling priest.
Priest: "He's so dead, his blood pressure is negative!"
Panel 3: The priest again.
Priest: "He's so dead, when you put him near a mummy, the mummy gets creeped out!"
Panel 4: The priest, grinning.
Priest: "He's so dead, they found his body next to a trilobite."
Panel 5: The priest is being dragged away from the podium by two men in suits.
Priest: "He's so de--HEY LET GO!"
Panel 6 (caption box: "YEARS LATER..."): A red-haired woman speaks with the now-older priest.
Woman: "Hey father, you ever consider doing stand up comedy?"
Priest: "I tried an open mic once, and it's not for me."
Votey:
The priest, looking dejected, with a thought or speech bubble.
Priest: "People aren't ready for my art."
Priest: "We are gathered here to say our final farewell to Aaron Andrews, who is way totally dead."
Panel 2: Close-up of the smiling priest.
Priest: "He's so dead, his blood pressure is negative!"
Panel 3: The priest again.
Priest: "He's so dead, when you put him near a mummy, the mummy gets creeped out!"
Panel 4: The priest, grinning.
Priest: "He's so dead, they found his body next to a trilobite."
Panel 5: The priest is being dragged away from the podium by two men in suits.
Priest: "He's so de--HEY LET GO!"
Panel 6 (caption box: "YEARS LATER..."): A red-haired woman speaks with the now-older priest.
Woman: "Hey father, you ever consider doing stand up comedy?"
Priest: "I tried an open mic once, and it's not for me."
Votey:
The priest, looking dejected, with a thought or speech bubble.
Priest: "People aren't ready for my art."
Alt text
A six-panel comic. In the wide first panel, a priest stands at a podium at a funeral and says, 'We are gathered here to say our final farewell to Aaron Andrews, who is way totally dead.' In three close-up panels he grins and delivers 'so dead' jokes like an insult-comedy roast: 'He's so dead, his blood pressure is negative!', 'He's so dead, when you put him near a mummy, the mummy gets creeped out!', and 'He's so dead, they found his body next to a trilobite.' In the next panel two men in suits drag him away from the podium as he protests, 'He's so de--HEY LET GO!' A final panel labeled 'YEARS LATER...' shows a red-haired woman asking the older priest, 'Hey father, you ever consider doing stand up comedy?' He replies, 'I tried an open mic once, and it's not for me.' In the votey aftercomic, the priest looks downcast and says, 'People aren't ready for my art.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.