retirement
Original: retirement on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title caption (top banner): OVERLOOKED OPPORTUNITY: RETIREMENT PLANNING FOR PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE WORLDWIDE COLLAPSE IS IMMINENT.
Panel 1:
Three people sit around a table in a meeting. On the left, the backs of two clients: a man in a purple shirt wearing glasses, and a younger man with red hair in a red shirt. Across the table sits an older financial advisor in a suit and tie wearing round glasses.
Advisor: You want a well-hedged portfolio of water, dry goods, and cigarettes. And, we expect jeeps with spikes to triple in value after this shoddy farce crumbles around us.
Votey:
Close-up of the advisor's face, now drawn in a rough sketch style wearing dark sunglasses, smiling.
Advisor (speech bubble): Mohawks and fire are also sound investments.
Panel 1:
Three people sit around a table in a meeting. On the left, the backs of two clients: a man in a purple shirt wearing glasses, and a younger man with red hair in a red shirt. Across the table sits an older financial advisor in a suit and tie wearing round glasses.
Advisor: You want a well-hedged portfolio of water, dry goods, and cigarettes. And, we expect jeeps with spikes to triple in value after this shoddy farce crumbles around us.
Votey:
Close-up of the advisor's face, now drawn in a rough sketch style wearing dark sunglasses, smiling.
Advisor (speech bubble): Mohawks and fire are also sound investments.
Alt text
A title banner reads: 'OVERLOOKED OPPORTUNITY: RETIREMENT PLANNING FOR PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE WORLDWIDE COLLAPSE IS IMMINENT.' In the panel, an older financial advisor in a suit and round glasses sits across a table from two clients (a man in purple with glasses and a red-haired man in red). The advisor calmly pitches: 'You want a well-hedged portfolio of water, dry goods, and cigarettes. And, we expect jeeps with spikes to triple in value after this shoddy farce crumbles around us.' He treats apocalyptic-survival gear as a normal investment portfolio. In the votey aftercomic, a rough close-up of the advisor now wears dark sunglasses and grins, adding: 'Mohawks and fire are also sound investments.' — a Mad-Max-style escalation of the joke.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.