the-ugly-duckling
Original: the-ugly-duckling on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption): Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling.
(A sad-looking fuzzy gray-and-white duckling.)
Panel 2 (caption): Later, it turned out the ugly duckling was a swan.
(A white swan silhouetted against a black background.)
Panel 3 (caption): This was uninteresting to the other ducks, who had species-specific standards of beauty.
Duck: Yer neck looks like an elephant's dong.
Duck: Loser.
(Two green ducks mocking the swan.)
Panel 4 (caption): And, because the swan had grown up in a non-swan culture, it was unwelcome among its own kind.
Swan: You swim like an idiot. Idiot.
(One swan insulting another swan on a lake.)
Panel 5 (caption): But, one species found the swan delightful.
Human (a blonde person in medieval garb, hands to face): So elegant!
Panel 6 (caption): The swan and the human became the best of friends.
Swan: They were so mean to me!
Human: Life is hard, little swan. For instance, I am a lowly serf, and often hungry.
Panel 7 (caption): A short time later, the human located the secret bathing grounds of ducks and swans.
(The human grins, holding a bulging sack in one hand and a captured swan under the other arm.)
Panel 8 (caption): And no one makes fun of the swan any more.
(Close-up of a swan with a disturbing wide grin and spiral hypnotized eyes against a bright green background.)
Votey:
Swan (smiling): Now that everyone's dead, I feel great!
(A sad-looking fuzzy gray-and-white duckling.)
Panel 2 (caption): Later, it turned out the ugly duckling was a swan.
(A white swan silhouetted against a black background.)
Panel 3 (caption): This was uninteresting to the other ducks, who had species-specific standards of beauty.
Duck: Yer neck looks like an elephant's dong.
Duck: Loser.
(Two green ducks mocking the swan.)
Panel 4 (caption): And, because the swan had grown up in a non-swan culture, it was unwelcome among its own kind.
Swan: You swim like an idiot. Idiot.
(One swan insulting another swan on a lake.)
Panel 5 (caption): But, one species found the swan delightful.
Human (a blonde person in medieval garb, hands to face): So elegant!
Panel 6 (caption): The swan and the human became the best of friends.
Swan: They were so mean to me!
Human: Life is hard, little swan. For instance, I am a lowly serf, and often hungry.
Panel 7 (caption): A short time later, the human located the secret bathing grounds of ducks and swans.
(The human grins, holding a bulging sack in one hand and a captured swan under the other arm.)
Panel 8 (caption): And no one makes fun of the swan any more.
(Close-up of a swan with a disturbing wide grin and spiral hypnotized eyes against a bright green background.)
Votey:
Swan (smiling): Now that everyone's dead, I feel great!
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic retelling the Ugly Duckling. Panel 1: a sad fuzzy duckling; caption "Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling." Panel 2: a white swan in silhouette; caption "Later, it turned out the ugly duckling was a swan." Panel 3: two ducks mock the swan, one saying "Yer neck looks like an elephant's dong" and "Loser"; caption explains the other ducks had species-specific standards of beauty. Panel 4: one swan tells another "You swim like an idiot. Idiot."; caption explains the swan, raised in non-swan culture, was unwelcome among its own kind. Panel 5: a blonde medieval human delightedly says "So elegant!" Panel 6: the swan and human are best friends; the swan says "They were so mean to me!" and the human replies that life is hard, that they are a lowly, often-hungry serf. Panel 7: the grinning human, having found the secret bathing grounds of ducks and swans, holds a bulging sack and a captured swan under their arm. Panel 8: a close-up of the swan with a wide unsettling grin and spiral hypnotized eyes on a bright green background; caption "And no one makes fun of the swan any more." Votey: the same smiling swan says, "Now that everyone's dead, I feel great!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.