laplace39s-demon
Original: laplace39s-demon on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (narration box):
Hey, God... Pierre-Simon Laplace once said "An intellect which at a certain moment would know all forces that set nature in motion, and all positions of all items of which nature is composed, if this intellect were also vast enough to submit these data to analysis, it would embrace in a single formula the movements of the greatest bodies of the universe and those of the tiniest atom; for such an intellect nothing would be uncertain and the future just like the past would be present before its eyes."
The comic then shows a conversation between a dark-haired woman (God) and a small humanoid figure she is addressing.
Small being: Is that true?
God: Nah.
Small being: Why not?
God: It wouldn't want to.
God: Think about it. The universe gets worse in both directions. The past is ordered and boring. The future is entropic and dead.
God: Right here in time, it's great! We can play poker, we can have blind dates, we can have heroes and villains. We're in the romantic middle of the cosmos!
God: You get to exist entirely during this period, little being. You're like a mayfly born on Christmas Eve, unaware of its lucky circumstances.
Small being: I never thought of it that way. What's hard is to be a god.
God: To be mortal is good. And that's why I invented cancer.
Votey:
A speech bubble (tail trailing up off-panel) reads: ALSO DOUCHEBAGS
Hey, God... Pierre-Simon Laplace once said "An intellect which at a certain moment would know all forces that set nature in motion, and all positions of all items of which nature is composed, if this intellect were also vast enough to submit these data to analysis, it would embrace in a single formula the movements of the greatest bodies of the universe and those of the tiniest atom; for such an intellect nothing would be uncertain and the future just like the past would be present before its eyes."
The comic then shows a conversation between a dark-haired woman (God) and a small humanoid figure she is addressing.
Small being: Is that true?
God: Nah.
Small being: Why not?
God: It wouldn't want to.
God: Think about it. The universe gets worse in both directions. The past is ordered and boring. The future is entropic and dead.
God: Right here in time, it's great! We can play poker, we can have blind dates, we can have heroes and villains. We're in the romantic middle of the cosmos!
God: You get to exist entirely during this period, little being. You're like a mayfly born on Christmas Eve, unaware of its lucky circumstances.
Small being: I never thought of it that way. What's hard is to be a god.
God: To be mortal is good. And that's why I invented cancer.
Votey:
A speech bubble (tail trailing up off-panel) reads: ALSO DOUCHEBAGS
Alt text
A Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal comic. A narration box opens by addressing God, quoting Pierre-Simon Laplace's famous statement about a hypothetical intellect that, knowing all forces and positions in nature, could compute the entire past and future as if present before its eyes. The comic then shows a dark-haired woman, who is God, talking with a small humanoid being she has created. The being asks if Laplace's idea is true; God says "Nah," because such an intellect "wouldn't want to." She explains the universe gets worse in both directions of time: the past is ordered and boring, the future is entropic and dead, so this present moment is the "romantic middle of the cosmos" where you can play poker, have blind dates, and have heroes and villains. She tells the little being it is lucky to exist entirely during this period, like "a mayfly born on Christmas Eve, unaware of its lucky circumstances." The being reflects that the hard thing is to be a god. God agrees that being mortal is good, then delivers the punchline: "And that's why I invented cancer." In the votey (the small bonus panel), a lone speech bubble with a tail trailing off the top of the frame adds: "ALSO DOUCHEBAGS."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.