birth-strategy
Original: birth-strategy on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Doctor (a woman in a lab coat): So, you're thinking of having a baby, but you're having fertility issues.
Blonde woman (the patient): Yes, sort of.
Panel 2:
Blonde woman: We decided before we got married, that we would be r-strategists, producing a vast number of low quality offspring, putting few resources into their upbringing, banking on a small number of exceptional individuals to survive and thrive.
Panel 3:
Doctor: So...
Blonde woman: My husband's pathetic sperm is only capable of fertilizing a small number of my ova at a given time.
Panel 4:
Blonde woman: I want all of my eggs extracted, fertilized, grown in some sort of chemical vat, then set loose in a variety of ecosystems.
Panel 5:
Blonde woman (now leaning in, intense): The weak will be culled, but the survivors will be KINGS AND QUEENS!
Panel 6:
Doctor: Are you cool with any aspect of any of this?
A red-haired woman (off to the side): I'll try anything once.
Votey:
The blonde woman, looking angry and intense: If you say 'that's literally impossible' one more time, I wanna see your manager!
Doctor (a woman in a lab coat): So, you're thinking of having a baby, but you're having fertility issues.
Blonde woman (the patient): Yes, sort of.
Panel 2:
Blonde woman: We decided before we got married, that we would be r-strategists, producing a vast number of low quality offspring, putting few resources into their upbringing, banking on a small number of exceptional individuals to survive and thrive.
Panel 3:
Doctor: So...
Blonde woman: My husband's pathetic sperm is only capable of fertilizing a small number of my ova at a given time.
Panel 4:
Blonde woman: I want all of my eggs extracted, fertilized, grown in some sort of chemical vat, then set loose in a variety of ecosystems.
Panel 5:
Blonde woman (now leaning in, intense): The weak will be culled, but the survivors will be KINGS AND QUEENS!
Panel 6:
Doctor: Are you cool with any aspect of any of this?
A red-haired woman (off to the side): I'll try anything once.
Votey:
The blonde woman, looking angry and intense: If you say 'that's literally impossible' one more time, I wanna see your manager!
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A doctor in a lab coat speaks with a blonde woman patient about fertility issues. The patient calmly explains an extreme plan: she and her husband decided to be 'r-strategists,' producing a vast number of low-quality offspring with few resources, banking on a few exceptional ones to survive. She complains that her husband's 'pathetic sperm' can only fertilize a few eggs at a time, and demands all her eggs be extracted, fertilized, grown in a chemical vat, and set loose across a variety of ecosystems. Leaning in with a wild, grinning expression, she declares the weak will be culled but the survivors will be 'KINGS AND QUEENS.' The doctor asks if she's cool with any aspect of any of this; a red-haired woman watching from the side shrugs and says 'I'll try anything once.' Votey: a close-up of the blonde woman, now furious, saying, 'If you say that's literally impossible one more time, I wanna see your manager!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.