a-new-debate-format
Original: a-new-debate-format on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman: You gonna watch the candidates 'touch the butt' tonight?
Man: What?
Woman: It's a new debate format.
Panel 2:
Woman: People don't watch debates because they think it's the right thing to do. They'd look it up on Wikipedia.
Woman: Debates are basically a two-hour long farce. To watch the entire nation gleefully hoping that someone accidentally says something mean or stupid.
Panel 3:
Woman: Realizing this, the networks simplified the format. Now, the candidates spend two hours putting their hands in little boxes while wearing blindfolds.
Woman: One of the boxes contains a butt. If one of the candidates reaches into that box, it proves she's a butt-toucher.
Panel 4:
Woman: The butt-toucher is then punished with a small drop in national polls, followed by a regression toward the mean.
Panel 5:
Man: Has media gotten worse, or has society?
Woman: I no longer have the attention span to understand that question.
Votey:
Caption (handwritten): I am willing to sign any petition proposing this.
Woman: You gonna watch the candidates 'touch the butt' tonight?
Man: What?
Woman: It's a new debate format.
Panel 2:
Woman: People don't watch debates because they think it's the right thing to do. They'd look it up on Wikipedia.
Woman: Debates are basically a two-hour long farce. To watch the entire nation gleefully hoping that someone accidentally says something mean or stupid.
Panel 3:
Woman: Realizing this, the networks simplified the format. Now, the candidates spend two hours putting their hands in little boxes while wearing blindfolds.
Woman: One of the boxes contains a butt. If one of the candidates reaches into that box, it proves she's a butt-toucher.
Panel 4:
Woman: The butt-toucher is then punished with a small drop in national polls, followed by a regression toward the mean.
Panel 5:
Man: Has media gotten worse, or has society?
Woman: I no longer have the attention span to understand that question.
Votey:
Caption (handwritten): I am willing to sign any petition proposing this.
Alt text
A five-panel comic between a woman with curly dark hair and a man, shown in close conversation against a dark background. Panel 1: The woman asks if he's going to watch the candidates 'touch the butt' tonight; he says 'What?' and she explains it's a new debate format. Panel 2: She explains people don't watch debates out of duty, calling them a two-hour farce where the nation gleefully hopes someone says something mean or stupid. Panel 3: She describes how networks simplified the format so candidates spend two hours, blindfolded, putting their hands in little boxes; one box contains a butt, and a candidate who reaches into it is proven a 'butt-toucher.' Panel 4: The butt-toucher is punished with a small drop in national polls, followed by a regression toward the mean. Panel 5: The man asks whether media has gotten worse or society has; the woman replies she no longer has the attention span to understand that question. Votey: A single hand-lettered panel reading 'I am willing to sign any petition proposing this.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.