zoonosis
Original: zoonosis on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (a man with flame-like hair, dramatic): "They call me JOEKOSIS."
Panel 2: "I have FILLED my house with THOUSANDS of cats in the LEAST HYGIENIC conditions."
Panel 3: "They are a BREEDING ground for the most HORRIFIC FELINE DISEASES!"
Panel 4: "By living in this FILTH, I increase the chance of a FELINE DISEASE that can JUMP from CATS to HUMANS!"
Panel 5 (flame-haired man, arms raised): "I AM THE CONDUIT TO HELL! I AM THE END THAT SUMMONS THE PATHOGENIC LIGHTNING!"
Panel 6 (declaiming, hands spread): "I AM DEATH!" "MADE MANIFEST!"
Panel 7 (a caped figure resembling Batman, off-panel response): "You'll never stop me, Batman! NEVER!"
Panel 8 (the flame-haired man, gesturing): "I've BROUGHT IN your DAUGHTER to make you feel SUBURBAN TERROR OF GUILT."
Panel 9 (an older woman, sheepish): "Mom, the neighbors think your couch smells bad and your lawn is untidy."
Panel 10 (the flame-haired man, deflating): "I submit! I SUBMIT!"
Panel 2: "I have FILLED my house with THOUSANDS of cats in the LEAST HYGIENIC conditions."
Panel 3: "They are a BREEDING ground for the most HORRIFIC FELINE DISEASES!"
Panel 4: "By living in this FILTH, I increase the chance of a FELINE DISEASE that can JUMP from CATS to HUMANS!"
Panel 5 (flame-haired man, arms raised): "I AM THE CONDUIT TO HELL! I AM THE END THAT SUMMONS THE PATHOGENIC LIGHTNING!"
Panel 6 (declaiming, hands spread): "I AM DEATH!" "MADE MANIFEST!"
Panel 7 (a caped figure resembling Batman, off-panel response): "You'll never stop me, Batman! NEVER!"
Panel 8 (the flame-haired man, gesturing): "I've BROUGHT IN your DAUGHTER to make you feel SUBURBAN TERROR OF GUILT."
Panel 9 (an older woman, sheepish): "Mom, the neighbors think your couch smells bad and your lawn is untidy."
Panel 10 (the flame-haired man, deflating): "I submit! I SUBMIT!"
Alt text
A ten-panel comic. A wild-eyed villain with flame-like hair grandly proclaims himself "Joekosis," boasting that he has filled his house with thousands of cats in the least hygienic conditions, creating a breeding ground for horrific feline diseases that could jump from cats to humans. He raises his arms and declares himself "the conduit to Hell" and "DEATH made manifest," striking the pose of a comic-book supervillain confronting a hero (one panel echoes someone shouting "You'll never stop me, Batman!"). The joke turns mundane when he says he has brought in the man's daughter to make him feel suburban terror of guilt. The daughter, an embarrassed older woman, says: "Mom, the neighbors think your couch smells bad and your lawn is untidy." The grandiose villain instantly deflates, crying "I submit! I submit!" Votey (aftercomic): a close-up of the defeated old woman's face, eyes downcast in shame, calling up to an unseen speech bubble: "Tell the glorious HOA I meant no harm!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.