motivation
Original: motivation on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man in suit (gesturing to a second man): Here's the truth about self doubt: it's all in your head.
A blue banner reads: GET MOTIVATED!
Panel 2:
Second man (skeptical): What does that mean?
First man: It's all just in here, buddy.
Panel 3:
First man (enthusiastic): But everything's all just in here! Motivation's in here. And so is inspiration. Conscience is here. Childhood memories! How to bisect an angle! Grammar! Face recognition! Hunger! Thirst! Lust! Self awareness! Breathing!
Panel 4:
First man (manic): The entire universe, from my point of view, is all just in here!
Second man (alarmed): Oh my god is that your point?! Self doubt is here in my head! Ha! Ha! My head! This is the only my head! I can't escape!
Panel 5:
First man (calmly): I could cut off my legs, cut off my arms! Rip out my eyes and ears. But self doubt would linger on into 'just be in here' no matter what!
Second man (clutching his head, screaming): HAHAHA! HAHAHAH! HAHAHAH!
Panel 6 (caption: 30 years later):
A woman (interviewer): What was the secret to your success, Mr. Cruz?
The second man, now older: I'm very motivated to focus on work.
Votey:
A hand-drawn line graph. The vertical axis is labeled "Probability of evil" and the horizontal axis is labeled "hair on head." A red U-shaped curve dips low in the middle and rises high at both ends, indicating that both no hair and lots of hair correlate with a high probability of evil, while a moderate amount of hair is lowest.
Man in suit (gesturing to a second man): Here's the truth about self doubt: it's all in your head.
A blue banner reads: GET MOTIVATED!
Panel 2:
Second man (skeptical): What does that mean?
First man: It's all just in here, buddy.
Panel 3:
First man (enthusiastic): But everything's all just in here! Motivation's in here. And so is inspiration. Conscience is here. Childhood memories! How to bisect an angle! Grammar! Face recognition! Hunger! Thirst! Lust! Self awareness! Breathing!
Panel 4:
First man (manic): The entire universe, from my point of view, is all just in here!
Second man (alarmed): Oh my god is that your point?! Self doubt is here in my head! Ha! Ha! My head! This is the only my head! I can't escape!
Panel 5:
First man (calmly): I could cut off my legs, cut off my arms! Rip out my eyes and ears. But self doubt would linger on into 'just be in here' no matter what!
Second man (clutching his head, screaming): HAHAHA! HAHAHAH! HAHAHAH!
Panel 6 (caption: 30 years later):
A woman (interviewer): What was the secret to your success, Mr. Cruz?
The second man, now older: I'm very motivated to focus on work.
Votey:
A hand-drawn line graph. The vertical axis is labeled "Probability of evil" and the horizontal axis is labeled "hair on head." A red U-shaped curve dips low in the middle and rises high at both ends, indicating that both no hair and lots of hair correlate with a high probability of evil, while a moderate amount of hair is lowest.
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A man in a suit, standing in front of a banner reading 'GET MOTIVATED!', tells another man that self doubt is 'all in your head.' When asked what that means, he says it's 'all just in here, buddy.' He then excitedly explains that EVERYTHING is in his head: motivation, inspiration, conscience, childhood memories, how to bisect an angle, grammar, face recognition, hunger, thirst, lust, self awareness, breathing. He declares the entire universe from his point of view is all just in his head. The second man becomes horrified, realizing his own self doubt is trapped inside his head with no escape, and starts laughing maniacally while clutching his skull. The motivational speaker calmly adds that he could cut off his legs, arms, eyes, and ears, but self doubt would still linger inside no matter what, as the second man screams 'HAHAHA!' Final panel, captioned '30 years later': a woman interviews the now-older second man, asking the secret to his success, 'Mr. Cruz.' He replies, blank-faced, 'I'm very motivated to focus on work.' Votey: a hand-drawn U-shaped line graph plotting 'Probability of evil' (vertical axis) against 'hair on head' (horizontal axis); the red curve is high at both the bald end and the very-hairy end and dips lowest in the middle, joking that both baldness and excessive hair predict evil.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.