scrooge
Original: scrooge on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Scrooge (small elderly man): THANK YOU FOR VISITING ME, SPIRITS OF CHRISTMAS.
Ghost of Christmas Present (jolly bearded figure with a holly wreath): NO PROB, SCROOGE.
Panel 2:
Scrooge: I DO HAVE ONE QUESTION THOUGH.
Ghost of Christmas Past (small white-haired figure): YES?
Panel 3:
Scrooge: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN POOR PEOPLE NEED HELP MAKING A LIFE CHOICE?
Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (hooded cloaked figure): [silent]
Ghost of Christmas Present: FUCK THOSE PEOPLE!
Votey:
Scrooge (speech bubble): Now bring me more food!
(A large grinning bearded face — the Ghost of Christmas Present — looms in close-up.)
Scrooge (small elderly man): THANK YOU FOR VISITING ME, SPIRITS OF CHRISTMAS.
Ghost of Christmas Present (jolly bearded figure with a holly wreath): NO PROB, SCROOGE.
Panel 2:
Scrooge: I DO HAVE ONE QUESTION THOUGH.
Ghost of Christmas Past (small white-haired figure): YES?
Panel 3:
Scrooge: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN POOR PEOPLE NEED HELP MAKING A LIFE CHOICE?
Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (hooded cloaked figure): [silent]
Ghost of Christmas Present: FUCK THOSE PEOPLE!
Votey:
Scrooge (speech bubble): Now bring me more food!
(A large grinning bearded face — the Ghost of Christmas Present — looms in close-up.)
Alt text
A four-panel Christmas Carol parody. Tiny elderly Scrooge stands before three Christmas spirits. Panel 1: Scrooge says "Thank you for visiting me, spirits of Christmas," and the jolly bearded Ghost of Christmas Present (wearing a holly wreath) replies "No prob, Scrooge." Panel 2: Scrooge says "I do have one question though," and the small white-haired Ghost of Christmas Past answers "Yes?" Panel 3: Scrooge asks "What do you do when poor people need help making a life choice?" The silent hooded Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come stands by while the cheerful Ghost of Christmas Present shouts "Fuck those people!" — the joke being the supposedly compassionate spirits are callous toward the poor. Votey: a big grinning close-up of the bearded Ghost of Christmas Present, with Scrooge's tiny speech bubble commanding "Now bring me more food!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.