bacteria-sex
Original: bacteria-sex on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Mother: Sweetie, it's time we had the sex talk.
Mother: 530 million years ago, some bacteria decided to exchange their DNA to make a new bacterium.
Panel 2:
Mother: Long story short, now if you wanna have a baby you have to squeeze it out of your vagina.
Daughter: WHAT?!
Panel 3:
Mother: Yep. That's why I always tell you to use antibacterial soap.
Daughter: FOR REVENGE.
Votey:
Text (in a speech bubble, shaky hand-lettered): WE ARE LEGION
(Two bacteria, drawn as rod/sausage shapes, are intertwined/embracing.)
Mother: Sweetie, it's time we had the sex talk.
Mother: 530 million years ago, some bacteria decided to exchange their DNA to make a new bacterium.
Panel 2:
Mother: Long story short, now if you wanna have a baby you have to squeeze it out of your vagina.
Daughter: WHAT?!
Panel 3:
Mother: Yep. That's why I always tell you to use antibacterial soap.
Daughter: FOR REVENGE.
Votey:
Text (in a speech bubble, shaky hand-lettered): WE ARE LEGION
(Two bacteria, drawn as rod/sausage shapes, are intertwined/embracing.)
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panel 1: A mother sits across from her young daughter at a table and says, "Sweetie, it's time we had the sex talk. 530 million years ago, some bacteria decided to exchange their DNA to make a new bacterium." Panel 2: The mother continues, "Long story short, now if you wanna have a baby you have to squeeze it out of your vagina." The wide-eyed daughter shouts, "WHAT?!" Panel 3: The mother says, "Yep. That's why I always tell you to use antibacterial soap." The daughter, looking grim, says, "FOR REVENGE." The joke ties human reproduction back to ancient bacterial DNA exchange, framing antibacterial soap as vengeance against the microbes that started it all. Votey (bonus panel): Two rod-shaped bacteria are intertwined in an embrace, with a shaky hand-lettered speech bubble reading "WE ARE LEGION," implying the bacteria are reproducing and multiplying.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.