universal-machines
Original: universal-machines on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A woman with dark hair lectures to a man: "A Turing machine is by definition a universal machine. Note: This is unlike a washing machine, which is only good for one thing."
Panel 2:
The man (in a green shirt) reacts angrily: "That's a goddamn slur!"
The woman replies, unimpressed: "Tough talk for a scrub-box."
Panel 3:
A washing machine (anthropomorphized, with an angry face on its front panel) shouts: "I'll kill you!"
The woman responds, pointing: "You'd have to learn how!"
Votey:
A hand-drawn line graph. The y-axis is labeled "intelligence of this joke" and the x-axis is labeled "panel" with tick marks numbered 1, 2, 3, 4. The red line starts very high at panel 1 and plummets steeply down to near zero by panel 2, then stays flat along the bottom through panels 3 and 4.
A woman with dark hair lectures to a man: "A Turing machine is by definition a universal machine. Note: This is unlike a washing machine, which is only good for one thing."
Panel 2:
The man (in a green shirt) reacts angrily: "That's a goddamn slur!"
The woman replies, unimpressed: "Tough talk for a scrub-box."
Panel 3:
A washing machine (anthropomorphized, with an angry face on its front panel) shouts: "I'll kill you!"
The woman responds, pointing: "You'd have to learn how!"
Votey:
A hand-drawn line graph. The y-axis is labeled "intelligence of this joke" and the x-axis is labeled "panel" with tick marks numbered 1, 2, 3, 4. The red line starts very high at panel 1 and plummets steeply down to near zero by panel 2, then stays flat along the bottom through panels 3 and 4.
Alt text
A three-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a dark-haired woman lectures a man, saying a Turing machine is by definition a universal machine, unlike a washing machine which is only good for one thing. Panel 2: the man recoils, shouting "That's a goddamn slur!" and the woman retorts "Tough talk for a scrub-box." Panel 3: an anthropomorphized washing machine with an angry face yells "I'll kill you!" and the woman points and says "You'd have to learn how!" The joke escalates an insult comparing a person (or machine) to a single-purpose washing machine. Votey: a crude hand-drawn line graph titled "intelligence of this joke" (y-axis) versus "panel" (x-axis, ticks 1-4). The red line starts high at panel 1 and crashes steeply to the bottom by panel 2, staying flat through panels 3 and 4 — a self-deprecating gag that the joke's intelligence drops off a cliff after the first panel.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.