grounding
Original: grounding on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A child stands with arms raised, speaking up at an unseen adult.
Child: "I'm sorry, we don't accept your 'grounding'."
Panel 2: The child gestures while explaining.
Child: "It is our considered opinion that parents should only intervene in free childhood behavior when the children face a coordination problem."
Panel 3: The child continues, gesturing.
Child: "For instance, we all applaud your takeover of the cutting of cakes and your introduction of time-sharing on the videogame consoles."
Panel 4: The child speaks emphatically.
Child: "However, in the matter of my making Bobby spin around until he puked, free association between the children in question could have resulted in a more efficient and satisfactory resolution."
Panel 5: The child raises a finger to make a point.
Child: "'Grounding' neither solves the legitimate grievance of the harmed party, nor the existential issues that resulted in what has been called 'The Whirling Hurling'."
Panel 6: The child spreads arms wide.
Child: "I do not know how to solve these problems. But, I do know that when we children are free to make our own agreements, a thousand flowers shall bloom!"
Panel 7: An adult (parent), seen from behind, speaks to the child.
Parent: "Bobby asked us to punish you."
Panel 8: The child looks shaken/disturbed.
Child: "Bobby doesn't know what he wants!"
Votey: A close-up of the child's anguished, sweating face, mouth open, shouting.
Child: "TYRANTS!"
Child: "I'm sorry, we don't accept your 'grounding'."
Panel 2: The child gestures while explaining.
Child: "It is our considered opinion that parents should only intervene in free childhood behavior when the children face a coordination problem."
Panel 3: The child continues, gesturing.
Child: "For instance, we all applaud your takeover of the cutting of cakes and your introduction of time-sharing on the videogame consoles."
Panel 4: The child speaks emphatically.
Child: "However, in the matter of my making Bobby spin around until he puked, free association between the children in question could have resulted in a more efficient and satisfactory resolution."
Panel 5: The child raises a finger to make a point.
Child: "'Grounding' neither solves the legitimate grievance of the harmed party, nor the existential issues that resulted in what has been called 'The Whirling Hurling'."
Panel 6: The child spreads arms wide.
Child: "I do not know how to solve these problems. But, I do know that when we children are free to make our own agreements, a thousand flowers shall bloom!"
Panel 7: An adult (parent), seen from behind, speaks to the child.
Parent: "Bobby asked us to punish you."
Panel 8: The child looks shaken/disturbed.
Child: "Bobby doesn't know what he wants!"
Votey: A close-up of the child's anguished, sweating face, mouth open, shouting.
Child: "TYRANTS!"
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic in which a child delivers a pompous libertarian-style lecture to a parent (mostly unseen) about why they reject being grounded. The child argues parents should only intervene in 'free childhood behavior' to solve coordination problems, praising the parent's fair cake-cutting and videogame time-sharing, but insisting that the incident of making another child, Bobby, spin until he puked could have been resolved by free association among the children. The child claims grounding solves nothing and proclaims that if children were free to make their own agreements, 'a thousand flowers shall bloom!' In the final panels the parent flatly replies, 'Bobby asked us to punish you,' and the deflated child sputters, 'Bobby doesn't know what he wants!' Votey (aftercomic): an extreme close-up of the child's sweating, anguished face screaming 'TYRANTS!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.