dark-matter
Original: dark-matter on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Dark matter (a dark, smoky cloud): WAIT, HOLD ON. I'M MADE OF THE STUFF THAT 95% OF THE UNIVERSE IS MADE OF, AND YOU CALL ME "DARK MATTER" AND "DARK ENERGY"?
Scientist (a man with reddish hair, round glasses, and a lab coat): WELL, I MEAN—
Panel 2:
Dark matter (the smoky cloud): YOU'RE THE ONES WHO SHOULD HAVE A SEPARATE IDENTIFIER. YOU'RE THE ONES MADE OF THAT WEIRD MATTER THAT STICKS TO ITSELF AND FORMS GLOBBY CHUNKS.
Panel 3:
Scientist: IN FAIRNESS—
Dark matter: FROM NOW ON, "DARK MATTER" IS JUST "MATTER" AND YOU ARE MADE OF "CLINGY MATTER."
Panel 4:
Scientist (now angry, leaning in close): CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS?
Dark matter (drifting away): WHOA! GIMME SOME SPACE!
Votey:
A close-up of the scientist's face, glaring with a furrowed brow.
Scientist: LET ME INTERACT WITH YOU!
Dark matter (a dark, smoky cloud): WAIT, HOLD ON. I'M MADE OF THE STUFF THAT 95% OF THE UNIVERSE IS MADE OF, AND YOU CALL ME "DARK MATTER" AND "DARK ENERGY"?
Scientist (a man with reddish hair, round glasses, and a lab coat): WELL, I MEAN—
Panel 2:
Dark matter (the smoky cloud): YOU'RE THE ONES WHO SHOULD HAVE A SEPARATE IDENTIFIER. YOU'RE THE ONES MADE OF THAT WEIRD MATTER THAT STICKS TO ITSELF AND FORMS GLOBBY CHUNKS.
Panel 3:
Scientist: IN FAIRNESS—
Dark matter: FROM NOW ON, "DARK MATTER" IS JUST "MATTER" AND YOU ARE MADE OF "CLINGY MATTER."
Panel 4:
Scientist (now angry, leaning in close): CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS?
Dark matter (drifting away): WHOA! GIMME SOME SPACE!
Votey:
A close-up of the scientist's face, glaring with a furrowed brow.
Scientist: LET ME INTERACT WITH YOU!
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. A dark, wispy smoke-like cloud (dark matter) argues with a red-haired scientist in round glasses and a lab coat. Panel 1, the cloud: "Wait, hold on. I'm made of the stuff that 95% of the universe is made of, and you call me 'dark matter' and 'dark energy'?" The scientist: "Well, I mean—". Panel 2, the cloud: "You're the ones who should have a separate identifier. You're the ones made of that weird matter that sticks to itself and forms globby chunks." Panel 3, scientist: "In fairness—"; cloud: "From now on, 'dark matter' is just 'matter' and you are made of 'clingy matter.'" Panel 4, the scientist leans in angrily: "Can we talk about this?" The cloud drifts away: "Whoa! Gimme some space!" The joke flips the perspective so ordinary matter is the weird, clingy minority, and the cloud's exit line puns on "space." Votey: an extreme close-up of the scientist's frowning, frustrated face, glasses glinting, saying "Let me interact with you!"—a pun on dark matter's lack of interaction with normal matter.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.