this-is-incredible
Original: this-is-incredible on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Daughter (child with red hair): DAD! MY FAVORITE BAND MEMBER LEFT! HIS FAVORITE BAND JUST ISN'T THE SAAAAAME!
Panel 2:
Father (man with mustache): WOW. THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
Panel 3:
Father: I'M SO NON-SAD. I'M ANTI-SAD.
Panel 4:
Father: LOOK! I CAN RUB THIS FRESHLY-SLICED ONION RIGHT INTO MY EYE, AND I'M NOT CRYING AT ALL.
Panel 5:
Father: I CAN PUNCH MYSELF IN THE NOSE, AND MY TEAR DUCTS STAY TOTALLY DRY!
Panel 6:
Father: WATCH! I CAN DRAIN THE ENTIRE SWIMMING POOL WITH MY FACE ACTING AS A REVERSED WATER HOSE!
Panel 7:
Daughter: I HATE YOU, DADDY.
Panel 8 (two people on a couch):
Person 1: THAT ONION TRICK MUST'VE BEEN HARD.
Person 2: PARENTING IS ABOUT SACRIFICE.
Votey:
Close-up sketch of the father's face, one eye bloodshot and red. Speech bubble: SUCH A GOOD DAD.
Daughter (child with red hair): DAD! MY FAVORITE BAND MEMBER LEFT! HIS FAVORITE BAND JUST ISN'T THE SAAAAAME!
Panel 2:
Father (man with mustache): WOW. THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
Panel 3:
Father: I'M SO NON-SAD. I'M ANTI-SAD.
Panel 4:
Father: LOOK! I CAN RUB THIS FRESHLY-SLICED ONION RIGHT INTO MY EYE, AND I'M NOT CRYING AT ALL.
Panel 5:
Father: I CAN PUNCH MYSELF IN THE NOSE, AND MY TEAR DUCTS STAY TOTALLY DRY!
Panel 6:
Father: WATCH! I CAN DRAIN THE ENTIRE SWIMMING POOL WITH MY FACE ACTING AS A REVERSED WATER HOSE!
Panel 7:
Daughter: I HATE YOU, DADDY.
Panel 8 (two people on a couch):
Person 1: THAT ONION TRICK MUST'VE BEEN HARD.
Person 2: PARENTING IS ABOUT SACRIFICE.
Votey:
Close-up sketch of the father's face, one eye bloodshot and red. Speech bubble: SUCH A GOOD DAD.
Alt text
An 8-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired child runs to her mustached dad, distraught: 'DAD! MY FAVORITE BAND MEMBER LEFT! HIS FAVORITE BAND JUST ISN'T THE SAAAAAME!' The dad responds with deadpan over-the-top reassurance that he is happy, declaring 'WOW. THIS IS INCREDIBLE. I'M SO NON-SAD. I'M ANTI-SAD.' To prove how un-sad he is, he boasts about extreme feats of not crying: rubbing a freshly-sliced onion directly into his eye without tearing up, punching himself in the nose with dry tear ducts, and draining an entire swimming pool using his face as a 'reversed water hose.' The daughter flatly replies, 'I HATE YOU, DADDY.' In the final panel, two adults on a couch comment: 'That onion trick must've been hard,' and 'Parenting is about sacrifice.' The joke: the dad is secretly devastated but masking his real sadness with absurd anti-crying stunts so his kid won't see him cry. The votey (bonus panel) is a sketchy close-up of the dad's face with one eye glaringly bloodshot and red from the abuse, with a speech bubble reading 'SUCH A GOOD DAD' — revealing the painful cost of his performance.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.