you-are-under-sexy-arrest
Original: you-are-under-sexy-arrest on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A muscular male stripper in a small swimsuit poses on a stage. A woman in the audience (one of several) declares:
Woman: "LADIES! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING TOO SEXY!"
Panel 2: The stripper grips a pole.
Woman (caption): "THE VIRUS HAS TAKEN TEN OF THE POPULATION WITH IT. HUMANITY'S FITNESS IS NOW MORE IMPORTANT THAN PERSONAL FREEDOM."
Panel 3: Close-up of the stripper's stern face.
Woman (caption): "THE COUNCIL OF PATRIARCHS NOW CONTROLS ALL REPRODUCTIVE CHOICES."
Panel 4: The stripper, sweating, looks down.
Woman (caption): "YOU WILL BE CONFINED TO THE DETENTION CENTER UNTIL SUCH TIME AS YOU ACHIEVE POLITICAL AWARENESS."
Panel 5: A wider shot of the stripper on stage with the audience of women below.
Woman (caption): "THIS SEXY OFFICER ROUTINE HAS WAY TOO MUCH BACKSTORY."
Panel 6: Close-up of two women in the audience, one speaking to the other.
Woman: "MADAME, YOU ARE TALKING TO A MASTER OF THE ARTS."
Votey:
A close-up of the stripper's bare lower torso/hip. A speech bubble (from him) reads, in handwritten style:
"I'm a huge Margaret Atwood fan."
Woman: "LADIES! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING TOO SEXY!"
Panel 2: The stripper grips a pole.
Woman (caption): "THE VIRUS HAS TAKEN TEN OF THE POPULATION WITH IT. HUMANITY'S FITNESS IS NOW MORE IMPORTANT THAN PERSONAL FREEDOM."
Panel 3: Close-up of the stripper's stern face.
Woman (caption): "THE COUNCIL OF PATRIARCHS NOW CONTROLS ALL REPRODUCTIVE CHOICES."
Panel 4: The stripper, sweating, looks down.
Woman (caption): "YOU WILL BE CONFINED TO THE DETENTION CENTER UNTIL SUCH TIME AS YOU ACHIEVE POLITICAL AWARENESS."
Panel 5: A wider shot of the stripper on stage with the audience of women below.
Woman (caption): "THIS SEXY OFFICER ROUTINE HAS WAY TOO MUCH BACKSTORY."
Panel 6: Close-up of two women in the audience, one speaking to the other.
Woman: "MADAME, YOU ARE TALKING TO A MASTER OF THE ARTS."
Votey:
A close-up of the stripper's bare lower torso/hip. A speech bubble (from him) reads, in handwritten style:
"I'm a huge Margaret Atwood fan."
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A muscular male stripper performs on a stage in a tiny swimsuit before an audience of women, while he delivers a dramatic monologue full of dystopian sci-fi cliches. His lines (shown as captions): "Ladies! You are under arrest for being too sexy!" / "The virus has taken ten of the population with it. Humanity's fitness is now more important than personal freedom." / "The Council of Patriarchs now controls all reproductive choices." / "You will be confined to the detention center until such time as you achieve political awareness." In the last two panels, one woman in the audience remarks to another, "This sexy officer routine has way too much backstory," and the other replies, "Madame, you are talking to a master of the arts" — the joke being he has built an elaborate oppressive-dystopia narrative into his strip act. Votey (aftercomic): a close-up of the stripper's bare hip with a handwritten speech bubble reading, "I'm a huge Margaret Atwood fan," revealing his dystopian routine is inspired by Atwood's fiction.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.