i-have-returned
Original: i-have-returned on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A woman with red hair runs forward, arms raised.
Woman: SALLY!
Panel 2:
A translucent green ghost stands facing the woman.
Ghost: I PROMISED YOU I'D FIND A WAY HOME. I PROMISED YOUR TIME OF GRIEVING IS OVER. WE CAN BE ONE AGAIN.
Panel 3:
The red-haired woman addresses the ghost.
Woman: JUST TO BE CLEAR. AS A GHOST, ARE YOU CAPABLE OF HOUSEWORK, SEX, OR HAVING A JOB?
Panel 4:
The ghost replies.
Ghost: NOPE! ALSO, WHATEVER I TOUCH GETS COATED IN A THIN LAYER OF ECTOPLASM.
Panel 5:
The ghost floats happily.
Ghost: IT'S GOOD TO BE HOME.
Votey:
Close-up of a smiling man's face with a speech bubble.
Man: DID I MENTION THAT IT'S ITCHY SLIME?
A woman with red hair runs forward, arms raised.
Woman: SALLY!
Panel 2:
A translucent green ghost stands facing the woman.
Ghost: I PROMISED YOU I'D FIND A WAY HOME. I PROMISED YOUR TIME OF GRIEVING IS OVER. WE CAN BE ONE AGAIN.
Panel 3:
The red-haired woman addresses the ghost.
Woman: JUST TO BE CLEAR. AS A GHOST, ARE YOU CAPABLE OF HOUSEWORK, SEX, OR HAVING A JOB?
Panel 4:
The ghost replies.
Ghost: NOPE! ALSO, WHATEVER I TOUCH GETS COATED IN A THIN LAYER OF ECTOPLASM.
Panel 5:
The ghost floats happily.
Ghost: IT'S GOOD TO BE HOME.
Votey:
Close-up of a smiling man's face with a speech bubble.
Man: DID I MENTION THAT IT'S ITCHY SLIME?
Alt text
A five-panel comic. Panel 1: a red-haired woman runs forward, arms raised, calling "SALLY!" Panel 2: a translucent green ghost says, "I promised you I'd find a way home. I promised your time of grieving is over. We can be one again." Panel 3: the woman, unmoved, asks flatly, "Just to be clear. As a ghost, are you capable of housework, sex, or having a job?" Panel 4: the ghost cheerfully answers, "Nope! Also, whatever I touch gets coated in a thin layer of ectoplasm." Panel 5: the oblivious ghost floats contentedly and says, "It's good to be home." Votey: a close-up of a smiling man's face adding, "Did I mention that it's itchy slime?" The joke: the romantic ghost reunion is undercut by the practical downsides of living with an ectoplasm-coated, useless spectral partner.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.