2015-02-01
Original: 2015-02-01 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Caption: When you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
(A man's face in profile faces a black abyss-blob with two eyes.)
Panel 2
Caption: It's wondering why you're gazing at it.
(The abyss looks puzzled.)
Panel 3
Caption: Does it know you?
(The abyss stares.)
Panel 4
Caption: You don't look familiar.
(The man looks back.)
Panel 5
Caption: The abyss ventures a wave. You don't respond.
(The abyss raises a little arm in a wave.)
Panel 6
Caption: But you keep staring.
(The man keeps staring.)
Panel 7
Caption: The abyss is getting really uncomfortable.
(The abyss looks uneasy.)
Panel 8
Caption: The abyss confronts you.
Abyss: I don't want any trouble, okay?!
Panel 9
The man (arms raised, cheering): GOOOAAAL!
(The abyss recoils.)
Panel 10
Caption: The abyss realizes you were watching the football match on the TV behind it.
(The man is seen watching a TV; the abyss is in the foreground.)
Panel 11
Caption: The abyss is so embarrassed that it never comes back to this spot.
(A doorway/checkered floor; the abyss slinks away.)
Panel 12
Man: It's fine, Nietzsche, but maybe make it down a bit.
Voice (offscreen): Jumped it 60 bad?
Votey:
Text: PLEASE DON'T HURT NIETZSCHE'S FEELINGS
(A drawn portrait of Friedrich Nietzsche with his large mustache and a stern brow.)
Caption: When you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
(A man's face in profile faces a black abyss-blob with two eyes.)
Panel 2
Caption: It's wondering why you're gazing at it.
(The abyss looks puzzled.)
Panel 3
Caption: Does it know you?
(The abyss stares.)
Panel 4
Caption: You don't look familiar.
(The man looks back.)
Panel 5
Caption: The abyss ventures a wave. You don't respond.
(The abyss raises a little arm in a wave.)
Panel 6
Caption: But you keep staring.
(The man keeps staring.)
Panel 7
Caption: The abyss is getting really uncomfortable.
(The abyss looks uneasy.)
Panel 8
Caption: The abyss confronts you.
Abyss: I don't want any trouble, okay?!
Panel 9
The man (arms raised, cheering): GOOOAAAL!
(The abyss recoils.)
Panel 10
Caption: The abyss realizes you were watching the football match on the TV behind it.
(The man is seen watching a TV; the abyss is in the foreground.)
Panel 11
Caption: The abyss is so embarrassed that it never comes back to this spot.
(A doorway/checkered floor; the abyss slinks away.)
Panel 12
Man: It's fine, Nietzsche, but maybe make it down a bit.
Voice (offscreen): Jumped it 60 bad?
Votey:
Text: PLEASE DON'T HURT NIETZSCHE'S FEELINGS
(A drawn portrait of Friedrich Nietzsche with his large mustache and a stern brow.)
Alt text
A tall SMBC comic riffing on Nietzsche's line about gazing into the abyss. Each panel pairs a man's face with a cartoonish black abyss-blob that has two cute eyes. Captions narrate: 'When you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.' The abyss wonders why the man is staring, decides he doesn't look familiar, and ventures a friendly little wave, but the man doesn't respond and keeps staring. The abyss gets increasingly uncomfortable and finally confronts him: 'I don't want any trouble, okay?!' The man suddenly throws his arms up cheering, 'GOOOAAAL!' A caption reveals the man was actually watching a football match on a TV behind the abyss the whole time. So embarrassed, the abyss never returns to that spot. In the final panel the man gently tells the abyss, 'It's fine, Nietzsche, but maybe make it down a bit,' and an offscreen voice asks if it was 'too bad.' Votey: a hand-drawn portrait of philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche with his trademark bushy mustache, captioned 'PLEASE DON'T HURT NIETZSCHE'S FEELINGS.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.