2015-01-06

A tall multi-panel SMBC comic about forcing presidential candidates to roleplay. Panel 1, narration: "During presidential elections, we compel candidates to pretend to be 'regular folks,' despite being more powerful than any people who have ever lived." A smiling man in a suit says, "And I told my chef 'do not put American cheese on that pheasant!'" Panel 2, narration: "This is demeaning to dignified candidates and harmless to society's true..." The man, finger raised, asks "What if I just leveled with people about how I think, but I still care?" Another voice: "Is that true?" Panel 3, narration: "My question is this: if we have the power to make candidates pretend to be what they aren't, why not go for something more amusing?" The panel is mostly a giant question mark. Panel 4, narration: "For example, they could roleplay characters from beloved novels." A candidate at a podium declares, "I share the small-town values of the Shire, which is why I support increased funding for party and defense against dragons." Panel 5, narration: "Or mythical creatures." A shirtless figure holding a trident says, "As a merman, I understand the importance of environmental regulation." Panel 6, narration: "Or really really cute things." A person dressed in a cat costume says, "As a snuggly-pile of kitties, I think we could bring laser pointer manufacturing back here to Akron, Ohio!" Panel 7, narration: "Or maybe just household objects." A person in a teapot costume says, "I'm a little teapot, short and stout. I'll audit the Fed and see what they're about." Below, in large hand-lettered caps: "CALL YOUR SENATOR. DEMAND PRE-PRESIDENTIAL ROLEPLAY NOW! SEE IF YOU CAN GET THEM TO RESPOND IN KLINGON." Votey: a hand-drawn box containing the text "10 points to anyone who actually does this."