2014-11-25
Original: 2014-11-25 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Caveman 1 (clean-shaven): BIG ROCK IS MOST FUNDAMENTAL PARTICLE IN UNIVERSE!
Caveman 2 (bearded): TO COLLIDER!
Panel 2 (the two cavemen smash two rocks together in a collider):
Caveman 2: AH! BIG ROCK IS MADE UP OF SMALL ROCKS.
Panel 3:
Bearded caveman: LOOK! SMALL ROCK COME OUT OF BIG ROCK! SMALL ROCK FUNDAMENTAL!
Clean-shaven caveman: SMALL ROCK IS MAYBE STATISTICAL ARTIFACT.
Panel 4 (they collide rocks again):
Panel 5:
Clean-shaven caveman: OKAY. SMALL ROCK FUNDAMENTAL.
Bearded caveman: ME TOLD YOU SO!
Panel 6:
A woman with long hair appears: WAIT! SMALL ROCK MADE UP OF VERY SMALL ROCKS! VERY SMALL ROCK IS FUNDAMENTAL.
Bearded caveman: NO SUCH THING AS VERY SMALL ROCK!
Clean-shaven caveman: TO COLLIDER!
Panel 7 (collider again):
Panel 8:
Bearded caveman: HA! VERY SMALL ROCKS NOT EXIST! SMALL ROCK IS FUNDAMENTAL!
Woman: JUST NEED ROCKS GO FASTER, THEN FIND VERY SMALL ROCK!
Clean-shaven caveman (drooling): GUUUURB
Caption: 10,000 ITERATIONS LATER
Panel 9 (a modern setting; a person with glasses addresses a professor):
Student: PROFESSOR, WHAT'S A FUNDAMENTAL PARTICLE?
Professor: ANYTHING SMALLER THAN WHAT WAS FUNDAMENTAL A GENERATION AGO.
Votey: A Feynman-style diagram drawn in a crude hand-lettered box. Two incoming lines labeled "rock" and "rock" meet at a vertex connected by a wavy (boson/exchange) line to another vertex, from which two outgoing lines emerge labeled "rocks" and "other rocks."
Caveman 1 (clean-shaven): BIG ROCK IS MOST FUNDAMENTAL PARTICLE IN UNIVERSE!
Caveman 2 (bearded): TO COLLIDER!
Panel 2 (the two cavemen smash two rocks together in a collider):
Caveman 2: AH! BIG ROCK IS MADE UP OF SMALL ROCKS.
Panel 3:
Bearded caveman: LOOK! SMALL ROCK COME OUT OF BIG ROCK! SMALL ROCK FUNDAMENTAL!
Clean-shaven caveman: SMALL ROCK IS MAYBE STATISTICAL ARTIFACT.
Panel 4 (they collide rocks again):
Panel 5:
Clean-shaven caveman: OKAY. SMALL ROCK FUNDAMENTAL.
Bearded caveman: ME TOLD YOU SO!
Panel 6:
A woman with long hair appears: WAIT! SMALL ROCK MADE UP OF VERY SMALL ROCKS! VERY SMALL ROCK IS FUNDAMENTAL.
Bearded caveman: NO SUCH THING AS VERY SMALL ROCK!
Clean-shaven caveman: TO COLLIDER!
Panel 7 (collider again):
Panel 8:
Bearded caveman: HA! VERY SMALL ROCKS NOT EXIST! SMALL ROCK IS FUNDAMENTAL!
Woman: JUST NEED ROCKS GO FASTER, THEN FIND VERY SMALL ROCK!
Clean-shaven caveman (drooling): GUUUURB
Caption: 10,000 ITERATIONS LATER
Panel 9 (a modern setting; a person with glasses addresses a professor):
Student: PROFESSOR, WHAT'S A FUNDAMENTAL PARTICLE?
Professor: ANYTHING SMALLER THAN WHAT WAS FUNDAMENTAL A GENERATION AGO.
Votey: A Feynman-style diagram drawn in a crude hand-lettered box. Two incoming lines labeled "rock" and "rock" meet at a vertex connected by a wavy (boson/exchange) line to another vertex, from which two outgoing lines emerge labeled "rocks" and "other rocks."
Alt text
A tall SMBC comic spoofing particle physics. Two cavemen argue about the most fundamental particle by smashing rocks together in a "collider." A clean-shaven caveman declares big rock is the most fundamental particle and they collide rocks, revealing it is made of small rocks. The bearded caveman insists small rock is fundamental; the other suspects it's a statistical artifact. After more colliding, they agree small rock is fundamental. A long-haired woman interjects that small rock is made of very small rocks, which the bearded caveman denies. They keep colliding rocks ever harder to find smaller and smaller pieces, one caveman drooling "GUUUURB." A caption reads "10,000 ITERATIONS LATER," then in a modern scene a student with glasses asks a professor what a fundamental particle is. The professor replies: "Anything smaller than what was fundamental a generation ago." Votey: a crude hand-drawn Feynman diagram in a box. Two incoming lines labeled "rock" and "rock" meet, exchange a wavy line, and produce two outgoing lines labeled "rocks" and "other rocks" — a rock-collision scattering event drawn as particle physics.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.