2014-12-21
Original: 2014-12-21 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (praying, looking upward): "Dear God -- please don't worry about me. My sick auntie needs help more."
Panel 2:
God (voice from above): "Christ. Spare me the false humility. I don't have time for all of your passive-aggressive bullshit. Now what do you ACTUALLY want?"
Panel 3:
Man (smiling): "Ten pounds of taffy."
God: "Ha! It was a test. You get nothing."
Panel 4:
Man: "Don't you have better things to do?"
God: "I exist beyond time. I can bust your balls twenty-four hours a day, BITCH!"
Votey:
An egg with a speech bubble: "Damn, I'm lonely."
Man (praying, looking upward): "Dear God -- please don't worry about me. My sick auntie needs help more."
Panel 2:
God (voice from above): "Christ. Spare me the false humility. I don't have time for all of your passive-aggressive bullshit. Now what do you ACTUALLY want?"
Panel 3:
Man (smiling): "Ten pounds of taffy."
God: "Ha! It was a test. You get nothing."
Panel 4:
Man: "Don't you have better things to do?"
God: "I exist beyond time. I can bust your balls twenty-four hours a day, BITCH!"
Votey:
An egg with a speech bubble: "Damn, I'm lonely."
Alt text
A four-panel comic of a man praying to God, whose dialogue appears as text from above. Panel 1: The man clasps his hands and looks up, saying "Dear God -- please don't worry about me. My sick auntie needs help more." Panel 2: God replies, "Christ. Spare me the false humility. I don't have time for all of your passive-aggressive bullshit. Now what do you ACTUALLY want?" Panel 3: The man grins and admits, "Ten pounds of taffy," and God snaps back, "Ha! It was a test. You get nothing." Panel 4: The man asks, "Don't you have better things to do?" and God answers, "I exist beyond time. I can bust your balls twenty-four hours a day, BITCH!" The joke is that an omnipotent, eternal God uses his infinite power and timelessness purely to torment one petty worshipper. Votey: A simple drawing of an egg sitting beside a speech bubble that says "Damn, I'm lonely."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.