2014-12-05
Original: 2014-12-05 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A red-bearded man with flame-like hair sits by a fire at night.
Red-bearded man: CHILD BORN! MUST SEND SIGNAL TO HOME VILLAGE!
Panel 2: Wide shot. The man sits by his campfire among mountains. Three puffs of smoke rise from the fire in distinct shapes.
Panel 3: Close-up of the red-bearded man's face, looking puzzled.
Panel 4: The man holds a long blowgun-like tube to the fire, blowing smoke signals.
Red-bearded man: WHAT THE...
Panel 5: Close-up of the red-bearded man's face looking down the length of a long bamboo pipe that stretches off into a green valley.
Panel 6: At the far end of the pipe, a dark-haired man crouches, intercepting the smoke, holding a tablet-like device. Smoke puffs travel up the pipe.
Red-bearded man (off-panel): HEY! YOU SPYING ON MY COMMUNICATIONS!
Panel 7: Close-up of the dark-haired man's face, holding the device.
Dark-haired man: IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!
Panel 8: The two men face each other against a red background.
Dark-haired man: POSSIBLE YOU ACTUALLY LION.
Panel 9: Extreme close-up of the two faces nearly touching.
Dark-haired man: LIONS EVERYWHERE.
Votey:
Extreme close-up of the red-bearded man's face, eyes wide.
Red-bearded man (thought/speech): LIONS METAPHOR FOR SOCIAL CONDITIONS
Red-bearded man: CHILD BORN! MUST SEND SIGNAL TO HOME VILLAGE!
Panel 2: Wide shot. The man sits by his campfire among mountains. Three puffs of smoke rise from the fire in distinct shapes.
Panel 3: Close-up of the red-bearded man's face, looking puzzled.
Panel 4: The man holds a long blowgun-like tube to the fire, blowing smoke signals.
Red-bearded man: WHAT THE...
Panel 5: Close-up of the red-bearded man's face looking down the length of a long bamboo pipe that stretches off into a green valley.
Panel 6: At the far end of the pipe, a dark-haired man crouches, intercepting the smoke, holding a tablet-like device. Smoke puffs travel up the pipe.
Red-bearded man (off-panel): HEY! YOU SPYING ON MY COMMUNICATIONS!
Panel 7: Close-up of the dark-haired man's face, holding the device.
Dark-haired man: IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!
Panel 8: The two men face each other against a red background.
Dark-haired man: POSSIBLE YOU ACTUALLY LION.
Panel 9: Extreme close-up of the two faces nearly touching.
Dark-haired man: LIONS EVERYWHERE.
Votey:
Extreme close-up of the red-bearded man's face, eyes wide.
Red-bearded man (thought/speech): LIONS METAPHOR FOR SOCIAL CONDITIONS
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired, red-bearded man in primitive garb sits by a campfire at night and declares, 'CHILD BORN! MUST SEND SIGNAL TO HOME VILLAGE!' He blows puffs of smoke from the fire. Puzzled ('WHAT THE...'), he discovers his smoke is traveling down an enormous bamboo pipe stretching across a valley. At the far end, a dark-haired man crouches intercepting the smoke and reading it on a tablet-like device. The red-bearded man shouts, 'HEY! YOU SPYING ON MY COMMUNICATIONS!' The dark-haired man replies, 'IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! POSSIBLE YOU ACTUALLY LION. LIONS EVERYWHERE.' The pair end face to face in extreme close-up. The joke is a Stone Age parody of mass surveillance, justifying spying on smoke signals as protection against a vague pervasive threat. Votey: an extreme close-up of the wide-eyed red-bearded man saying, 'LIONS METAPHOR FOR SOCIAL CONDITIONS,' lampshading that the 'lions everywhere' justification is just stand-in fearmongering.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.