2014-10-28
Original: 2014-10-28 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A woman stands at a podium giving a presentation.
Presenter: This presentation is about the question of whether animal altruism exists.
Panel 2: The presenter continues.
Presenter: I spent many hours doing research on this presentation, knowing full well that it would have no noticeable benefit for my career.
Panel 3:
Presenter: I was not paid to do it. No potential market will be impressed by it. I will gain no social status for having done it. It is purely a gift to the scientific community.
Panel 4:
Presenter: Thus, the existence of this presentation proves the existence of animal altruism. Thankyou.
Panel 5: An audience member calls out from the crowd.
Audience member: What a great presentation!
Panel 6: Another shout from the audience.
Audience member: Stop that!
Votey:
A close-up of the presenter's hair as someone off-panel shouts a compliment.
Audience member (off-panel): And you have nice hair.
Presenter: Dammit!
Presenter: This presentation is about the question of whether animal altruism exists.
Panel 2: The presenter continues.
Presenter: I spent many hours doing research on this presentation, knowing full well that it would have no noticeable benefit for my career.
Panel 3:
Presenter: I was not paid to do it. No potential market will be impressed by it. I will gain no social status for having done it. It is purely a gift to the scientific community.
Panel 4:
Presenter: Thus, the existence of this presentation proves the existence of animal altruism. Thankyou.
Panel 5: An audience member calls out from the crowd.
Audience member: What a great presentation!
Panel 6: Another shout from the audience.
Audience member: Stop that!
Votey:
A close-up of the presenter's hair as someone off-panel shouts a compliment.
Audience member (off-panel): And you have nice hair.
Presenter: Dammit!
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A woman delivers a presentation from a podium, declaring it is about whether animal altruism exists. She explains she spent many hours researching it knowing it would not benefit her career, that she was not paid, no market will be impressed, and she'll gain no social status, so it is 'purely a gift to the scientific community.' She concludes that the existence of this presentation therefore proves animal altruism exists. An audience member shouts 'What a great presentation!' and she snaps back 'Stop that!' because any praise undermines her selfless premise. Votey: a close-up of her hair; an off-panel voice adds 'And you have nice hair,' and she yells 'Dammit!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.