2014-11-13
Original: 2014-11-13 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man (no information faster than the speed of light premise).
Man: Wait! A SEC information can't go faster than the speed of light...
Panel 2: The man, now smiling.
Man: That means I can determine the distance to God just by praying and waiting for a response!
Panel 3: The man kneels and prays.
Man: Dear Lord, what is the meaning of life?
Panels 4-8: The man waits, hands clasped in prayer, panel after panel. Over the silent panels he visibly ages — his hair turns gray, then white, and he goes bald, still waiting for a response.
Final panel: A graveyard. A headstone reads:
HERE LIES STEVE JONES — DIED A MINIMUM OF 40 LIGHT YEARS FROM HIS MAKER
Votey:
A voice from off-panel speaks to a round yellow object that resembles God / a glowing orb covered in tally marks.
Voice (off-panel): Why didn't you ever change your shirt?!
Man: Wait! A SEC information can't go faster than the speed of light...
Panel 2: The man, now smiling.
Man: That means I can determine the distance to God just by praying and waiting for a response!
Panel 3: The man kneels and prays.
Man: Dear Lord, what is the meaning of life?
Panels 4-8: The man waits, hands clasped in prayer, panel after panel. Over the silent panels he visibly ages — his hair turns gray, then white, and he goes bald, still waiting for a response.
Final panel: A graveyard. A headstone reads:
HERE LIES STEVE JONES — DIED A MINIMUM OF 40 LIGHT YEARS FROM HIS MAKER
Votey:
A voice from off-panel speaks to a round yellow object that resembles God / a glowing orb covered in tally marks.
Voice (off-panel): Why didn't you ever change your shirt?!
Alt text
A multi-panel SMBC comic. A man realizes that since no information can travel faster than the speed of light, he can measure the distance to God by praying and timing how long the answer takes. He kneels and asks, 'Dear Lord, what is the meaning of life?' Then he waits through panel after silent panel, aging from a young dark-haired man to a gray-haired, then bald old man, never getting a reply. The final panel shows a graveyard headstone reading: 'HERE LIES STEVE JONES — DIED A MINIMUM OF 40 LIGHT YEARS FROM HIS MAKER.' Votey: On a blue background, a speech bubble from off-screen says 'WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER CHANGE YOUR SHIRT?!' aimed at a round yellow orb (the maker/God) covered in small tally-like marks.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.