2014-09-02
Original: 2014-09-02 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Text (banner): WELCOME TO TECHNICALITY CLUB. THE FIRST RULE OF TECHNICALITY CLUB IS YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT TECHNICALITY CLUB!
Panel 2:
Woman with glasses: DOES TYPING COUNT AS TALKING?
Man (presenter): YES.
Panel 3:
Woman with glasses: HOW ABOUT MORSE CODE?
Man (presenter): YES.
Panel 4:
Man (presenter): CLARIFICATION: ANY SENDING OF INFORMATION REGARDING TECHNICALITY CLUB IS FORBIDDEN.
Panel 5:
A member: SO THEN WE'RE ALLOWED TO CREATE INFORMATION REGARDING TECHNICALITY CLUB, THEN TELL PEOPLE TO COME GET THAT INFORMATION ABOUT TECHNICALITY CLUB.
Panel 6:
Man (presenter): CLARIFICATION: NO DATA MAY BE TRANSMITTED BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE ABOUT TECHNICALITY CLUB.
Panel 7:
A member: SO, IF WE HAVE THREE PEOPLE TRANSMITTING IT'S OKAY.
Panel 8:
Man (presenter): CLARIFICATION: NO INFORMATION PERTAINING TO TECHNICALITY CLUB CAN BE CREATED BY ONE OR MORE INDIVIDUALS AND THEN BY ANY MEANS ACQUIRED BY ONE OR MORE INDIVIDUALS.
Panel 9:
A member: MAYBE 'TECHNICALITY CLUB' WAS A BAD IDEA.
Man (presenter): PLEASE RIGOROUSLY DEFINE EVERY WORD IN THAT SENTENCE.
Votey:
A man in sunglasses: YOU CAN'T CANCEL TECHNICALITY CLUB BECAUSE THAT'D BE TALKING ABOUT TECHNICALITY CLUB
Text (banner): WELCOME TO TECHNICALITY CLUB. THE FIRST RULE OF TECHNICALITY CLUB IS YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT TECHNICALITY CLUB!
Panel 2:
Woman with glasses: DOES TYPING COUNT AS TALKING?
Man (presenter): YES.
Panel 3:
Woman with glasses: HOW ABOUT MORSE CODE?
Man (presenter): YES.
Panel 4:
Man (presenter): CLARIFICATION: ANY SENDING OF INFORMATION REGARDING TECHNICALITY CLUB IS FORBIDDEN.
Panel 5:
A member: SO THEN WE'RE ALLOWED TO CREATE INFORMATION REGARDING TECHNICALITY CLUB, THEN TELL PEOPLE TO COME GET THAT INFORMATION ABOUT TECHNICALITY CLUB.
Panel 6:
Man (presenter): CLARIFICATION: NO DATA MAY BE TRANSMITTED BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE ABOUT TECHNICALITY CLUB.
Panel 7:
A member: SO, IF WE HAVE THREE PEOPLE TRANSMITTING IT'S OKAY.
Panel 8:
Man (presenter): CLARIFICATION: NO INFORMATION PERTAINING TO TECHNICALITY CLUB CAN BE CREATED BY ONE OR MORE INDIVIDUALS AND THEN BY ANY MEANS ACQUIRED BY ONE OR MORE INDIVIDUALS.
Panel 9:
A member: MAYBE 'TECHNICALITY CLUB' WAS A BAD IDEA.
Man (presenter): PLEASE RIGOROUSLY DEFINE EVERY WORD IN THAT SENTENCE.
Votey:
A man in sunglasses: YOU CAN'T CANCEL TECHNICALITY CLUB BECAUSE THAT'D BE TALKING ABOUT TECHNICALITY CLUB
Alt text
A multi-panel comic. A banner introduces 'Technicality Club,' parodying Fight Club's first rule: 'The first rule of Technicality Club is you do not talk about Technicality Club!' Club members, drawn as ordinary people with glasses, keep probing the rule for loopholes. They ask whether typing counts as talking (yes) and whether Morse code counts (yes). The presenter keeps issuing pedantic clarifications: no sending of any information about the club is allowed. Members find new loopholes (creating information and inviting people to come get it; the rule only bans transmission between exactly two people, so three is fine), and each time the presenter narrows the rule with ever more legalistic language, finally banning information being created by one or more individuals and acquired by one or more individuals. A member sighs that maybe 'Technicality Club' was a bad idea, and the presenter immediately demands she rigorously define every word in that sentence. In the bonus votey panel, a smug man in sunglasses delivers the punchline: 'You can't cancel Technicality Club because that'd be talking about Technicality Club.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.