2014-08-29
Original: 2014-08-29 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Whispering man (sunglasses, crouching): PSST! COME WITH ME!
Whispering man: WALK SOFTLY, NORMAN. HE'S WATCHING.
Norman: WHAT IS THIS? HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME?
Panel 2:
Whispering man: NORMAN, LISTEN. NONE OF THIS IS REAL. YOU'RE JUST A CHARACTER IN A COLLEGE STUDENT'S PLAY ABOUT THE EMPTINESS OF BOURGEOIS VALUES.
Norman: WHAT?!
Whispering man: QUIET! HE'LL HEAR YOU!
Panel 3:
Whispering man: YOU KNOW HOW YOU WORK A JOB YOU DON'T LOVE, IN ORDER TO FEED YOUR FAMILY?
Norman: YEAH?
Whispering man: YOU'VE GOT TO STOP!
Norman: WHY?
Panel 4:
Whispering man: IT'S GOING TO BE REPRESENTED AS A SUPREME SELF-ABNEGATION YOU'VE BURIED IN YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS.
Panel 5:
Norman: WHAT?! I'M PERFECTLY AWARE THAT MY JOB ISN'T GREAT! I HAVE INTERESTING HOBBIES AND I HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME, AND MY FAMILY---
Whispering man: SHHH!
Panel 6:
Whispering man: IF YOU DON'T QUIT, YOU'LL HAVE A SCENE WHERE THE METAPHORICAL DEATH EMBODIED IN YOUR BEING MIDDLE CLASS RESULTS IN YOUR ACTUAL DEATH.
Norman: COME ON!
Panel 7:
Norman: IT'S BULLSH---
Whispering man: SHHH! I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE!
Panel 8:
Norman: HOW COME NOBODY EVER WRITES PLAYS ABOUT HOW A STEADY JOB WITH BENEFITS IS A PRETTY GOOD DEAL.
Whispering man: WOULD YOU WATCH THAT?
Votey:
A woman (offended, gesturing): GOD YOU'RE STODGY
Norman lies in bed beside her, looking blank/exhausted.
Whispering man (sunglasses, crouching): PSST! COME WITH ME!
Whispering man: WALK SOFTLY, NORMAN. HE'S WATCHING.
Norman: WHAT IS THIS? HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME?
Panel 2:
Whispering man: NORMAN, LISTEN. NONE OF THIS IS REAL. YOU'RE JUST A CHARACTER IN A COLLEGE STUDENT'S PLAY ABOUT THE EMPTINESS OF BOURGEOIS VALUES.
Norman: WHAT?!
Whispering man: QUIET! HE'LL HEAR YOU!
Panel 3:
Whispering man: YOU KNOW HOW YOU WORK A JOB YOU DON'T LOVE, IN ORDER TO FEED YOUR FAMILY?
Norman: YEAH?
Whispering man: YOU'VE GOT TO STOP!
Norman: WHY?
Panel 4:
Whispering man: IT'S GOING TO BE REPRESENTED AS A SUPREME SELF-ABNEGATION YOU'VE BURIED IN YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS.
Panel 5:
Norman: WHAT?! I'M PERFECTLY AWARE THAT MY JOB ISN'T GREAT! I HAVE INTERESTING HOBBIES AND I HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME, AND MY FAMILY---
Whispering man: SHHH!
Panel 6:
Whispering man: IF YOU DON'T QUIT, YOU'LL HAVE A SCENE WHERE THE METAPHORICAL DEATH EMBODIED IN YOUR BEING MIDDLE CLASS RESULTS IN YOUR ACTUAL DEATH.
Norman: COME ON!
Panel 7:
Norman: IT'S BULLSH---
Whispering man: SHHH! I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE!
Panel 8:
Norman: HOW COME NOBODY EVER WRITES PLAYS ABOUT HOW A STEADY JOB WITH BENEFITS IS A PRETTY GOOD DEAL.
Whispering man: WOULD YOU WATCH THAT?
Votey:
A woman (offended, gesturing): GOD YOU'RE STODGY
Norman lies in bed beside her, looking blank/exhausted.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A man in sunglasses crouches and whispers to a man named Norman, telling him to walk softly because "he's watching." He reveals that none of this is real -- Norman is just a character in a college student's play about the emptiness of bourgeois values. Norman is startled. The whisperer warns that Norman must quit his unloved job that he works to feed his family, because the play will represent it as a supreme self-abnegation buried in his subconscious. Norman objects that he is perfectly aware his job isn't great, that he has interesting hobbies and free time and his family -- but is shushed. The whisperer warns that if Norman doesn't quit, there will be a scene where the metaphorical death of being middle class becomes his actual death. Norman calls it bullshit; the whisperer says he shouldn't even be here. Finally Norman asks why nobody ever writes plays about how a steady job with benefits is a pretty good deal, and the whisperer asks, "Would you watch that?" Votey: a hand-drawn panel of a woman in bed with Norman, gesturing in exasperation and saying "GOD YOU'RE STODGY," while Norman lies beside her looking blank.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.