2014-03-01
Original: 2014-03-01 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Narration: It is easier to kill at a distance than close up, so we created drones.
(Image of a military drone.)
Panel 2:
Narration: And it is easier to kill when you cannot see a face, so we created software.
(A display reads: FACE RECOGNIZED AS ENEMY. FACE PROPHYLACTICALLY OBSCURED. PROCEED WITH MISSION. A figure's face is shown blocked out.)
Panel 3:
Narration: For a time, the software worked well.
Military woman: Our kill rate per mission is up 30 percent! Who'd a thunk a little software tweak could do it?
Panel 4:
Narration: But hackers became a problem.
Narration: They were displaying their faces and... their... families.
Panel 5:
Narration: We fought back, securing our software while projecting empathy at their soldiers.
Narration: The new program shows the enemy pictures of those you leave behind. This reduces their kill ratio by 95 percent!
Panel 6:
Narration: The major focus of war became making enemies more empathetic than friends.
Military man: We are making sure the enemy is unholy. Make sure each human being contains a spark of the divine. When that distracts them, shoot for the spine.
Panel 7:
Narration: But it seemed we could never stop the cyberattacks. The enemy always seemed to find a backdoor.
Woman: I can't! They're projecting video of her as a toddler!
Panel 8:
Narration: So the program was finally dismantled.
Older man: I told 'em we shoulda stuck with good ol'-fashioned long-distance missile strikes.
Panel 9:
Older man: I don't know if this matters in the long run.
Young soldier: What if we created a vaccine for compassion?
Panel 10:
Older man: I just wish I'd put in that backdoor sooner.
(The young soldier smiles.)
Votey:
Man (the older man from earlier): What if we projected preachy comics onto the enemy?
Narration: It is easier to kill at a distance than close up, so we created drones.
(Image of a military drone.)
Panel 2:
Narration: And it is easier to kill when you cannot see a face, so we created software.
(A display reads: FACE RECOGNIZED AS ENEMY. FACE PROPHYLACTICALLY OBSCURED. PROCEED WITH MISSION. A figure's face is shown blocked out.)
Panel 3:
Narration: For a time, the software worked well.
Military woman: Our kill rate per mission is up 30 percent! Who'd a thunk a little software tweak could do it?
Panel 4:
Narration: But hackers became a problem.
Narration: They were displaying their faces and... their... families.
Panel 5:
Narration: We fought back, securing our software while projecting empathy at their soldiers.
Narration: The new program shows the enemy pictures of those you leave behind. This reduces their kill ratio by 95 percent!
Panel 6:
Narration: The major focus of war became making enemies more empathetic than friends.
Military man: We are making sure the enemy is unholy. Make sure each human being contains a spark of the divine. When that distracts them, shoot for the spine.
Panel 7:
Narration: But it seemed we could never stop the cyberattacks. The enemy always seemed to find a backdoor.
Woman: I can't! They're projecting video of her as a toddler!
Panel 8:
Narration: So the program was finally dismantled.
Older man: I told 'em we shoulda stuck with good ol'-fashioned long-distance missile strikes.
Panel 9:
Older man: I don't know if this matters in the long run.
Young soldier: What if we created a vaccine for compassion?
Panel 10:
Older man: I just wish I'd put in that backdoor sooner.
(The young soldier smiles.)
Votey:
Man (the older man from earlier): What if we projected preachy comics onto the enemy?
Alt text
A satirical sci-fi war comic about empathy used as a weapon. Narration over an image of a military drone: it is easier to kill at a distance than close up, so we created drones; and easier to kill when you cannot see a face, so we created software that recognizes and prophylactically obscures the enemy's face before a mission. The software works well, and a military officer brags the kill rate is up 30 percent. But enemy hackers fight back by displaying their own faces and families to induce empathy. In response, the military develops software that projects empathy-inducing imagery (loved ones left behind) at the enemy's soldiers to lower THEIR kill ratio by 95 percent, while a commander instructs troops that the enemy is unholy and to 'shoot for the spine' when the divine-spark distraction kicks in. The enemy keeps finding 'backdoors' - one soldier can't shoot because the enemy is projecting video of a target as a toddler. The empathy program is finally dismantled; an old man grumbles they should have stuck with long-distance missiles, and a young soldier wonders aloud, 'What if we created a vaccine for compassion?' The old man mutters that he just wishes he'd put in that backdoor sooner. Votey panel: the old man asks, 'What if we projected preachy comics onto the enemy?'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.