2014-02-13
Original: 2014-02-13 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
A person was happy.
Then one day a rock fell on its head.
A piece of the rock stuck in its scalp. But it did not realize this.
It began to hurt in its head.
It thought the pain was from something wrong in its life.
But it didn't know what was wrong, and it wanted to know.
It stopped its daily work. But that did not help.
It made pretty things. But that did not help.
Because these things did not help, it decided the problem was not with itself, but with the universe.
It left its family and friends, and took to wandering and contemplation.
One day, it tripped, hit its head, and the stone dislodged.
The pain stopped.
It was happy again.
It decided that whatever it had done before the stone dislodged was the source of the happiness.
It told other people why it was happy. And they listened.
But they never quite found their teacher's happiness. Because there were no stones in their heads to dislodge.
This difference was taken as a sign of the teacher's wisdom.
The teacher had many students, and they wrote down the pattern of the teacher's life as they knew it.
The teacher is dead now.
But the pattern is everywhere.
The students learn it with serious eyes.
But if the stone were a person, it would laugh.
Votey: NOPE. NOT ABOUT RELIGION
Then one day a rock fell on its head.
A piece of the rock stuck in its scalp. But it did not realize this.
It began to hurt in its head.
It thought the pain was from something wrong in its life.
But it didn't know what was wrong, and it wanted to know.
It stopped its daily work. But that did not help.
It made pretty things. But that did not help.
Because these things did not help, it decided the problem was not with itself, but with the universe.
It left its family and friends, and took to wandering and contemplation.
One day, it tripped, hit its head, and the stone dislodged.
The pain stopped.
It was happy again.
It decided that whatever it had done before the stone dislodged was the source of the happiness.
It told other people why it was happy. And they listened.
But they never quite found their teacher's happiness. Because there were no stones in their heads to dislodge.
This difference was taken as a sign of the teacher's wisdom.
The teacher had many students, and they wrote down the pattern of the teacher's life as they knew it.
The teacher is dead now.
But the pattern is everywhere.
The students learn it with serious eyes.
But if the stone were a person, it would laugh.
Votey: NOPE. NOT ABOUT RELIGION
Alt text
A black-and-white comic told as a parable in tall narrow panels with captions. A happy stick-figure person is hit when a rock falls on its head; an unnoticed shard lodges in its scalp and begins to hurt. Believing the pain comes from something wrong in its life, the person quits its daily work, makes pretty things, and finds no relief, so it concludes the problem is with the universe rather than itself. It abandons family and friends to wander and contemplate. One day it trips, hits its head, and the stone dislodges; the pain stops and it is happy again. The person decides whatever it was doing just before the relief is the source of happiness and teaches it to others, who listen but never reach the same happiness because they have no stones to dislodge. This gap is read as proof of the teacher's wisdom. Students write down the pattern of the teacher's life; the teacher dies, but the pattern spreads everywhere, learned with serious eyes. The final panel shows the small dislodged stone lying on the ground with the caption: but if the stone were a person, it would laugh. The votey is a hand-drawn boxed note reading 'NOPE. NOT ABOUT RELIGION.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.